by Lori Armstrong
by Allison Brennan
by Toni McGee Causey
by Sylvia Day
by Laura Griffin
by Lorelei James
by Sophie Littlefield
by Roxanne St. Claire
by Karin Tabke
Posted at 03:48 PM in A Look at Books, Amuse Bouche, And the Winner Is..., Author to Author, Blatant Self Promotion, Books, Contests, Contests and Other Fun Stuff!, Red Hot Reads!, thriller books | Permalink | Comments (0)
eBook winners will be announced daily.
Diversion Books/ ISBN# 13: 9780984515196
Order online today!
"…The tone is confessional, the writing laced with venomous humor..."
–The Wall Street Journal
"Brown captures the humor of working for a megalomaniac...[A] well-paced, entertaining story." –Publishers Weekly
"A fine piece of literary work." –New York Post, Page SixKissing truly is an art. Apparently, so is photographing a great kiss.
The smooching couple in this picture weren't captured in a capricious moment, but posed for the photo, taken in 1950 by Robert Doisneau.
Widely reproduced since 1986, this photo's official name is “The Kiss by the Hôtel de Ville” and is considered one of the most romantic ever taken.
Unfortunately the kiss doesn't have a happy ending. In 1993, the actress who posed for it--Françoise Bornet--sued Doisneau for $18,000 as well as a share of the royalty. During the trial, Doisneau admitted that--mon dieu!-- the shot had been posed.
The case was dismissed with the court declaring that the rights remained with Doisneau’s agency.
Ms. Bornet got some remittance when she sold her original print of the photograph, at auction, for $242,000.
Doisneau died in 1994.
Just in time for Valentine's Day,
Posted at 12:41 AM in A Look at Books, Amuse Bouche, Art from the Heart, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0)
I want to thank all of you who entered THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK's Very Merry Contest, I interrupted what I'm sure was a very healthy (aHEM!) lunch of my author pal, Karin Tabke, do the blind pick for the winning numbers --
So feel free to invite her to your "Why didn't you pick me?" pity party, and pelt her with banana peels.
Okay, here they are:
Grand Prize Winner: LizzyMA
$25 Gift card to the bookstore of your choice, plus one of these back- listed books (True Hollywood Lies, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives, or The Baby Planner:
Runners Up: Pam W., and June M
You will one of these back- listed books (True Hollywood Lies, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives, or The Baby Planner:
Thank you all, for playing!
And thank you, those who wrote me to tell me how much you loved the excerpt for THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK.
-- More contests (and new novel releases) to follow,
: )
Author,
The Housewife Asassin's Handbook
Posted at 08:22 PM in Books, Contests, Contests and Other Fun Stuff!, Red Hot Reads!, Television, Win | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
We've crossed the bridge into the 21st century--unless you're an actress in a tampon commercial.
On American TV, we're still squeamish when talking about menstruation.
That is, a woman's period.
Her "little visitor."
Being "on the rag," as it were.
As Adweek points out, it's ironic that a product created in the 1930s -- and on television, FINALLY, in 1973 -- is still cloaked in AdLandia shorthand.
Forget code words. White short shorts or short skirts was -- is -- GirlSpeak for "it's okay to use tampons instead of pads, without worrying about bleedthrough."
To paraphrase, Betty Friedan: it's the feminine hygiene mystique.
The FCC has what is calls "the seven dirty words" which are forbidden to say on TV. I'm too much of a lady to say them here, but you can guess what they are:
Has anyone noticed that dick and penis isn't on the list?
Which is possibly why, yes: those words flow trippingly through the boob tube.
At least, on basic cable, which is known for its potty mouth (DEADWOOD!!! I MISS YOU!!!!)
Some of these words have already slipped into major broadcast network viewing as well.
So why not vagina? Why do television hostesses fudge it by saying "va-jay-jay? They should follow Lissa Rankin's advice and say it loud, say it proud.
Lubricant ads show couples in bed. Condom ads have now broken the television barrier, too. Turn on a football game and you'll overdose on Viagra and Cialis ads. (Puh-leeeez: get that couple out of their his-and-hers outdoor clawfoot tubs!)
The 1st Amendment makes strange bedfellows. A disparate group has coallesced around the goal of ending television censorship . It includes the Pacifica Foundation on the left, and the Cato Institute (a Libertarian think tank) on the right.
In fact, on July 13, 2010 in New York, FCC regulations regarding "fleeting" use of expletives were ruled unconstitutionally vague by a three-judge panel of the U.S. 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals, which ruled that they violated the First Amendment in light of their possible effects regarding free speech.
Maybe we're finally crossing that bridge into the 21 century.
So that we get our celebrity fix for the day, click onto the video below. At the time (1985) , it was considered groundbreaking because she actually said the "P" word.
Several times, in fact!
Recognize the actress in this Tampax ad? When it comes to their careers, everyone's starts somewhere --
Period.
*Picture: The eyes have it! Tampons--that don't leak--are a girl's best friend.
Ewwww yuck is a fact of life,
-- Josie
Posted at 09:41 AM in Amuse Bouche, AU CURRANT AFFAIRS, Back to Reality, Celebrity Stuff, REALITY BYTES, Red Hot Reads!, Television, TUBE BOOBETTE | Permalink | Comments (0)
This was just too heehaw funny to pass up:
Glassdoor.com, a human resources/job search site, just posted what it calls "the top 25 oddball interview questions of 2011."
Let's face it. In this case, "oddball" is a euphemism for, um...stupid.
Since I won't be applying to any of these places, I figure it's okay to share with you how I would have responded--
Had I shown up drunk or if they'd first injected me with a truth serum.
Hmmm. Not a bad idea.
But not legal to do to applicants, so they'll never know the truth.
I'm guessing they wouldn't want to know it, anyway. Diplomacy and witty repartee before honesty, right?
Writing fiction means my answered are somewhat skewed to the macabre, so I'm sure I wouldn't get hired, anyway.
I'm okay with that--
As long as you guys keep buying my books.
Just saying.
1. “How many people are using Facebook in San Francisco at 2:30pm on a Friday?” – view answers. Asked at Google. More Google interview questions.
Me: "Too many. There are just too many lazy people in SF, with too much time on their hands. You're based here, so you know that, first hand. Obviously, they are waaaay overpaid....Um, how much were you offering again?
2. “Just entertain me for five minutes, I’m not going to talk.” – view answers. Asked at Acosta. More Acosta interview questions.
Me: This is where I pull out True Hollywood Lies and read out loud the most erotic scene in it. What can I say? I give great read. And those scenes are...HOT!
3. “If Germans were the tallest people in the world, how would you prove it?” – view answers. Asked at Hewlett-Packard. More Hewlett-Packard interview questions.
Me: "As the whole world knows, Germans keep meticulous records. I would hack into the national academic database and pull up all Physical Education records on 12-grade height measurements, which I would then compare to the same records from countries all over the world. By the way, I have some swampland in Monterrey that you can pick up at a steal..."
4. “What do you think of garden gnomes?” – view answers. Asked at Trader Joe’s. More Trader Joe’s interview questions.
Me: "Some of my best friends are garden gnomes. By the way, I love your Hawaiian shirt. So do my BFF garden gnomes."
5. “Is your college GPA reflective of your potential?” – view answers. Asked at the Advisory Board. More Advisory Board interview questions.
Me: "Moreso than my bust size -- so please quit staring at my chest."
6. “Would Mahatma Gandhi have made a good software engineer?” – view answers. Asked at Deloitte. More Deloitte interview questions.
Me: "Honestly, no. I don't know if you've read up on the Mahatma, but he wasn't a hermitic nerd, and his online gaming scores were abominable. But if his resume hits your desk, you may want to consider him for a Community Manager position. He'll up your Facebook friends considerably."
7. “If you could be #1 employee but have all your coworkers dislike you or you could be #15 employee and have all your coworkers like you, which would you choose?” – view answers. Asked at ADP. More ADP interview questions.
Me: "Number 1. Because I'm into WINNING. And tiger blood flows through my veins."
8. “How would you cure world hunger?” – view answers. Asked at Amazon.com. More Amazon.com interview questions.
Me: "I'd win the Miss Universe Pageant. Then I'd travel the world, advocating for world peas. And carrots. And mashed potatoes, because they go well together. But no meat. We don't want any more fatties, so I'd be pushing a vegan agenda."
9. “Room, desk and car – which do you clean first?” – view answers. Asked at Pinkberry. More Pinkberry interview questions.
Me: "Teeth."
10. “Does life fascinate you?” – view answers. Asked at Ernst & Young. More Ernst & Young interview questions.
Me: "Yes. Which is why I'm getting the hell out of here, before you hire me and I shoot my brains out."
11. “Given 20 ‘destructible’ light bulbs (which breaks at certain height), and a building with 100 floors, how do you determine the height that the light bulb breaks?” – view answers. Asked at QUALCOMM. More QUALCOMM interview questions.
Me: "Dude! Seriously? Duh. They break the moment they hit the ground. I've got a question for you, too: Who's buried in Grant's Tomb?"
12. “Please spell ‘diverticulitis’.” – view answers. Asked at EMSI Engineering. More EMSI Engineering interview questions.
Me: "If I do, can I use the $25,000 scholarship prize money to pay off my college bills?....Oh! You're not National Geographic, are you?"
13. “Name 5 uses of a stapler without staple pins.” – view answers. Asked at EvaluServe. More EvaluServe interview questions
Me: "Knock out a mugger. Knock out a rapist. Threaten a bank teller. Knock out a pawing first date. Knock out a pawing first boss. Don't worry, I know my way out."
14. “How much money did residents of Dallas/Ft. Worth spend on gasoline in 2008?” – view answers Asked at American Airlines. More American Airlines interview questions.
Me. "Too much. Too many gas guzzling cars, too many people who work in the oil industry to care about global warming, and not enough public awareness of its environmental impact. What fuels do your planes use again?... Yep, I know the way out. Scotty, beam me up."
15. “How would you get an elephant into a refrigerator?” – view answers. Asked at Horizon Group Properties. More Horizon Group Properties interview questions.
Me: "Same as I would a man: kill it, then chop it into steaks. On the way out, I'll leave you a copy of The Housewife Assassin's Handbook. It's got detailed instructions--regarding the man, not the elephant. My heroine, Donna, loves animals--"
16. “You have a bouquet of flowers. All but two are roses, all but two are daisies, and all but two are tulips. How many flowers do you have?” – view answers. Asked at Epic Systems. More Epic Systems interview questions.
Me: "Three. What say I set you up with the HR interviewer at Qualcomm? He likes trick questions, too. I think you two are a match made in heaven."
17. “How many planes are currently flying over Kansas?” – view answers. Asked at Best Buy. More Best Buy interview questions.
Me: "Too many. But there are probably a few terrorists out there with heat-seeking missle launchers to remedy that....Yes, I know. I have an active imagination. And I know my way out, too. By the way, Egghead has better prices on netbooks than you guys."
18. “How many different ways can you get water from a lake at the foot of a mountain, up to the top of the mountain?” – view answers. Asked at Disney Parks & Resorts. More Disney Parks & Resorts interview questions.
Me: "Listen, Goofy: I'm not trying for a gig in your Imagineering Department. I just want to be Cinderella in the Main Street Electrical Parade. Here, watch me wave and smile--"
19. “What is 37 times 37?” – view answers .Asked at Jane Street Capital. More Jane Street Capital interview questions.
"I'm guessing it's what I'd be making in salary, for one week's work here. So instead, why don't I answer 'What is 100 x 100', which is more in line to what I'd accept?"
20. “If you could be a superhero, what power would you possess?” – view answers. Asked at Rain and Hail Insurance. More Rain and Hail Insurance interview questions.
Me: "The power to be so wealthy that I wouldn't have to go on interviews where people like you ask such stupid questions. Or the power to create world peas. And carrots. With mashed potatoes."
21. “If you were a Microsoft Office program, which one would you be?” – view answersAsked at Summit Racing Equipment. More Summit Racing Equipment interview questions.
Me: "The one that wouldn't get me sued by MicroSoft. By the way, a better question to ask is to name a software program that MicroSoft hasn't been sued for copying."
22. “Pepsi or Coke?” – view answersAsked at United Health Group. More United Health Group interview questions.
Me: "Water. You guys do work in healthcare, right?...Oh, got it! You just bill for healthcare procedures."
23. “Are you exhaling warm air?” – view answers. Asked at Walker Marketing. More Walker Marketing interview questions.
Me: "No. Carbon dioxide. You're a marketing firm, so I don't hold your stupidity against you, but I'd certainly be scratching my head if you were Genentech."
24. “You’re in a row boat, which is in a large tank filled with water. You have an anchor on board, which you throw overboard (the chain is long enough so the anchor rests completely on the bottom of the tank). Does the water level in the tank rise or fall?” – view answers. Asked at Tesla Motors. More Tesla Motors interview questions.
Me: "It stays the same. Okay, let me ask you a question: When will the hovercraft be available, and how many jiggawatts will it need to power it? And is Marty McFly really your CEO? Because that's the rumor--"
25. “How do you feel about those jokers at Congress?” – view answers.Asked at Consolidated Electrical. More Consolidated Electrical interview questions.
Me: "You complete me. Hire me! Please!"
________________________________________
Read an excerpt of
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK
Today, on
Posted at 12:28 PM in Amuse Bouche, AU CURRANT AFFAIRS, REALITY BYTES, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (2)
Martin and I used to think that our best years ended in odd numbers.
In hindsight, I think we'd flip that analogy to fit any year in which we weren't having a great year.
For us -- and I guess a lot of you, too -- 2011 was a mixed blessing. I'm not an avid baseball fan, but there is something to say about "times up to bat": the more you put it out there, the better chance you'll have of scoring a hit, as opposed to an error.
And every now and then, you also hit it out of the park.
Granted, for Team Brown, there were enough errors for 2011 to turn us around on the assumption that odd years are our best. But we also had our fair share of hits, including the launch of four books. My two were The Baby Planner and The Housewife Assassin's Handbook. Martin's books were Fit in 50 Days, and on the last day of the year, The Ultimate New Year's Resolution Diet.
Not only that, but I saw one of my titles, True Hollywood Lies, achieve the ranking of 411 in Amazon Bestsellers, as well as #9 in Amazon's category of Books/Literature & Fiction/Comic.
On the first day of every new year, Martin starts off by saying, "It's a new year, and we're still here."
He means this, literally as well as figuratively.
It's an inside joke:
One new year's day, just after we moved to Marin County, we were walking our children into Mill Valley's Old Mill Park when the skies opened up. As the rain poured down, an elderly gentleman, standing in his garage called out, "You can stand here with me, if you want, until it blows over."
We were happy to take him up on his offer.
Standing there, we made small talk. I don't know how the subject of the man's wife came up. I guess it had to do with the fact that we'd just started another new year. With the openess that only comes with fresh emotional wounds, he said, "Yep, just this past new year's day, as we sat down to breakfast, she said, 'Well, it's a new year, and we're still here.' Then she dropped dead of a heart attack."
What a way to start the year: losing the person you love the most, whom you've spent a lifetime.
Any other issues are miniscule. They are a run in the pantyhose of your life.
To put things in perspective: he hadn't had a bad hair day. He had a bad hair year.
Whenever we're coming off a bad year, or we're trepidacious as to what the new year will bring, we remember that man and the wife he mourned.
And we count our blessings. Here are the ones I cherish most:
- We have great health, as do our children.
- We are still as madly in love today as we were on the day we married.
- We saw many of our far-flung family this year, making new memories even as we remembered the old ones.
- Our friends are loving, appreciative and a joy to be around. If only we could see more of them, more often!
- We love what we do, which is write.
You've got to love the fact that life is just one big tease,
*Photo: Uber-model Jean Shrimpton, by Richard Avedon. Talk about helmet hair!
Posted at 12:18 PM in A Look at Books, Back to Reality, PERSONAL BEST, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0)
We should both be hitting the beach with a good book, just reading...taking it easy...
In other words LIVING -- instead of locked up inside, making a living.
To get my mind out of the fantasy of sand and surf, I've been spending my breaks between writing by gauging my ranking for TRUE HOLLYWOOD LIES on Amazon.com, which thanks to my publisher Diversion Books, has hit the zeitgeist in that online bookstore.
Right now it's at #444 on the category called Amazon Bestsellers/Kindle. But when you consider that there are over 3 million books in Amazon, that ain't too shabby.
What is even more astounding is that in the subcategories, it's ranking is even lower: To wit:
- #9 in Books > Literature & Fiction > Comic (where I'm bookended by Tina Fey and that guy who wrote "Go the F**K to Sleep")
- #14 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Humor
- #25 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Fiction > Genre Fiction > Romance > Contemporary (Just behind a Nora Roberts book. How sweet is that?)
I feel honored and blessed that so many new readers are discovering it.
I've got to admit, it's a fun read: lots of sex, scandal, and celebrities gone wild. You know, the usual stuff.
If you haven't read it yet, you can read an excerpt here ...
Aw hell, for $1.99, just go ahead and buy it, here!
Blatant self promotion,
: )
"…The tone is confessional, the writing laced with venomous humor..."
–The Wall Street Journal
"Brown captures the humor of working for a megalomaniac...[A] well-paced, entertaining story." –Publishers Weekly
"A fine piece of literary work." –New York Post, Page Six
"Josie Brown does an outstanding job capturing the glitz and glamour of Hollywood living yet illuminating the stark loneliness present beneath the façade. Filled with good-natured humor and witty repartee..."
–Romance Reader's Connection
Posted at 03:34 PM in A Look at Books, Amuse Bouche, Blatant Self Promotion, Books, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0)
I can't help but love the fact that TRUE HOLLYWOOD LIES is now #9 in Amazon, under Books > Literature & Fiction > Comic.
I'm in very good company: Tina Fey is at #1, Mindy Kaling at #3, and Ellen DeGeneres at #5.
Overall, TRUE HOLLYWOOD LIES' Amazon ranking at this very moment is #451.
The novel is a very satirical look at LA and celebrity, so glad others have picked up on that. Or as the critcs have put it:
"...The tone is confessional, the writing laced with venomous humor..." -The Wall Street Journal
"A fine piece of literary work." --The New York Post, Page Six
"Brown captures the humor of working for a megalomanic . . .[A] well-paced, entertaining story." --Publishers Weekly
My goal is to get TRUE HOLLYWOOD LIES somewhere in the Amazon 100. Want to help me out? If you want a quick, fun read for only $1.99, you can check it out here...
Thanks for allowing me to share this bit of happiness,
Posted at 10:21 AM in A Look at Books, Art from the Heart, AU CURRANT AFFAIRS, Blatant Self Promotion, Books, Celebrity Stuff, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
This year, I've had some blessings I'd like to share:
- THE BABY PLANNER tour was hosted by real baby planners, numerous sponsors, and retail stores all over the country. Thanks to all of you whom I met along the way. You can find a list of them, here...
- SECRET LIVES OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES will produced by Jerry Bruckheimer as a new ABC TV series.
- Readers are rediscovering my debut novel, TRUE HOLLYWOOD LIES. In fact, it's ranked below 900 on Amazon.com.
This contest is my way to say thank you. Just read an excerpt of THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK, answer the question at the end correctly for a chance to win a $25 gift card from the any bookstore, with a personally autographed copy of SECRET LIVES. Two runners -up will also received personalized copies.
The deadline is midnight PT January 15, 2012, For details, go to www.HousewifeAssassinsHandbook.com
Wishing you a wonderful holiday, and a healthy and happy 2012,
Posted at 10:55 PM in Blatant Self Promotion, Books, Red Hot Reads!, Television | Permalink | Comments (0)
It's been a bah-humbug week. If the weather weren't so beautiful, I think I'd be even further down in the dumps. My Grinchy demeanor was even getting on The Hub's nerves: he who is the Cheeriest Man Alive, the mayor of all personkind, as it were.
His attempts to play holiday cuts by Ella Fitzgerald, Ray Charles, and James Taylor were all vetoed by me. Then he begged me to hear just one. "Trust me, you'll love it."
He was right.
And you will, too:
Santa Baby, by Andree Belle, is my little gift to you.
You can hear more of this sultry songtress here...
Enjoy!
With love,
Posted at 05:37 PM in Amuse Bouche, Andree Belle Sings "Variety Pack", Books, Love, Actually, Music, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0)
ABOUT THIS PARTICULAR SANTA...
Norman Rockwell, one of America's foremost illustrators, created this for a 1927 cover for the Saturday Evening Post. In it, one very lucky little boy has his undivided attention. Sant'as omnipotence is envisioned in this child's eyes, and I'm guessing many who are his age: you'd have to be a giant to cover the world in gifts, all in one night, right?
That was a very busy year overall. In fact, on:
April 1 – U.S. Bureau of Prohibition founded (under Department of the Treasury)
April 7 – Bell Telephone Co. transmits an image of Herbert Hoover (then the Secretary of Commerce), which becomes the first successful long distance demonstration of television.
April 12: The Royal and Parliamentary Titles Act 1927 renames the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland to the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. The change acknowledges that the Irish Free State is no longer part of the Kingdom.
May 20–May 21 – Charles Lindbergh makes the first solo nonstop transatlantic flight, from New York City to Paris in his single-seat, single-engine monoplane, the Spirit of St. Louis.
July 1 – The Food, Drug, and Insecticide Administration (FDIA) is established.
August 1 – The Communist Chinese People's Liberation Army is formed during the Nanchang Uprising.
August 10 – The Mount Rushmore Park is rededicated. President Calvin Coolidge promises national funding for the proposed carving of the Presidential figures.
August 23 – Sacco and Vanzetti are executed.
A LITTLE HISTORY ON SANTA...
The notion of a jolly ol' elf dropping in through our fireplaces on Christmas Eve with gifts for all good little boys and girls (they are all good, though, aren't they?) wasn't universal until the 1820s, when Clement Clarke Moore's 1823 poem "A Visit From St. Nicholas" caught the imagination of the American public.
A century later, America's most famous Illustrator, Noman Rockwell, gave this nonsecular -- and already very commercial -- character his iconic look. His commissioned works graced the pages of numerous magazines, including Boys' Life, Look, Popular Science, Life, and Time -- not to mention his numerous covers for the Saturday Evening Post.
Is Norman Rockwell's iconic Santa the Ghost of Christmas Past?
Rockwell's art will always be a part of our collective memories regarding holiday cheer. But in a time of fear, where does Santa fit in?
Unfortunately, this year Christmas will be a bittersweet experience for too many of us. The economy still sucks, so we can't really blame our local stores for putting out the Christmas displays even before the Halloween costumes were pulled from their aisles. A third of their revenue comes through the door this month.
I will always love Rockwell's renditions of The-Man-Formerly-Known-As-Jolly St. Nick. It is probably my very first brush with art appreciation. What child can say otherwise?
But if the image of Santa standing by a Christmas tree bring out the Pavlovian response to buy buy buy, resist it. The truth is this: we can't spend our way out of a recession. The burdon of personal debt has to be weighed with the urge to put a little something under the tree for our loved ones.
Here's a thought: Forget the cashmere sweater, the latest and greatest eReader, or that non-descript gift card. Instead, tell them what the mean to you.
Find the words, open your mouth and say it.
Or write it down so that they have a lifelong keepsake. The notes I've kept from my long-departed loved ones mean more to me than what they left me under the tree, most of which is now long gone.
I've been up uplinking a different Norman Rockwell Santa, starting with--
Day 1: Norman Rockwell Santa from 1926
Day 2: Norman Rockwell Santa from 1921
Have a happy holiday,
(c) 2011 Josie Brown. All rights reserved.
Posted at 09:30 AM in Amuse Bouche, Art from the Heart, Books, Norman Rockwell Santa Photos, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0)
The now renowned American illustrator, Norman Rockwell, created this for a 1921 cover for the Saturday Evening Post. The note attached to a child's stocking -- from "Tommy" -- asks for a toy drum. Well, he's in luck, because Santa just so happens to have one.
Tommy would have had to make a lot of noise to get over the historic din of '21. For example:
- Albert Einstein was awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics for his work with the photoelectric effect.
- One of my favorite musuems, the DeYoung Museum, opened in Golden Gate Park, San Francisco.
- The Communist Party of China was officially founded.
- The Irish War of Independence came to an end when a truce is signed between the British Government and Irish forces.
- The Allies of World War I reparations commission announced that Germany has to pay 132 billion gold marks ($33 trillion) in annual installments of 2.5 billion, and the Weimer Republic made its first payments.
- Is it any surprise that this was also the year that Adolf Hitler became Führer of the Nazi Party?
A LITTLE HISTORY ON SANTA...
The notion of a jolly ol' elf dropping in through our fireplaces on Christmas Eve with gifts for all good little boys and girls (they are all good, though, aren't they?) wasn't universal until the 1820s, when Clement Clarke Moore's 1823 poem "A Visit From St. Nicholas" caught the imagination of the American public.
A century later, America's most famous Illustrator, Noman Rockwell, gave this nonsecular -- and already very commercial -- character his iconic look. His commissioned works graced the pages of numerous magazines, including Boys' Life, Look, Popular Science, Life, and Time -- not to mention his numerous covers for the Saturday Evening Post.
Is Norman Rockwell's iconic Santa the Ghost of Christmas Past?
Rockwell's art will always be a part of our collective memories regarding holiday cheer. But in a time of fear, where does Santa fit in?
Unfortunately, this year Christmas will be a bittersweet experience for too many of us. The economy still sucks, so we can't really blame our local stores for putting out the Christmas displays even before the Halloween costumes were pulled from their aisles. A third of their revenue comes through the door this month.
I will always love Rockwell's renditions of The-Man-Formerly-Known-As-Jolly St. Nick. It is probably my very first brush with art appreciation. What child can say otherwise?
But if the image of Santa standing by a Christmas tree bring out the Pavlovian response to buy buy buy, resist it. The truth is this: we can't spend our way out of a recession. The burdon of personal debt has to be weighed with the urge to put a little something under the tree for our loved ones.
Here's a thought: Forget the cashmere sweater, the latest and greatest eReader, or that non-descript gift card. Instead, tell them what the mean to you.
Find the words, open your mouth and say it.
Or write it down so that they have a lifelong keepsake. The notes I've kept from my long-departed loved ones mean more to me than what they left me under the tree, most of which is now long gone.
I've been up uplinking a different Norman Rockwell Santa, starting with--
Have a happy holiday,
(c) 2011 Josie Brown. All rights reserved.
Posted at 11:22 AM in Art from the Heart, Books, Norman Rockwell Santa Photos, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0)
The notion of a jolly ol' elf dropping in through our fireplaces on Christmas Eve with gifts for all good little boys and girls (they are all good, though, aren't they?) wasn't universal until the 1820s, when Clement Clarke Moore's 1823 poem "A Visit From St. Nicholas" caught the imagination of the American public.
A century later, America's most famous Illustrator, Noman Rockwell, gave this nonsecular -- and already very commercial -- character his iconic look. His commissioned works graced the pages of numerous magazines, including Boys' Life, Look, Popular Science, Life, and Time -- not to mention his numerous covers for the Saturday Evening Post.
Is Norman Rockwell's iconic Santa the Ghost of Christmas Past?
Rockwell's art will always be a part of our collective memories regarding holiday cheer. But in a time of fear, where does Santa fit in?
Unfortunately, this year Christmas will be a bittersweet experience for too many of us. The economy still sucks, so we can't really blame our local stores for putting out the Christmas displays even before the Halloween costumes were pulled from their aisles. A third of their revenue comes through the door this month.
I will always love Rockwell's renditions of The-Man-Formerly-Known-As-Jolly St. Nick. It is probably my very first brush with art appreciation. What child can say otherwise?
But if the image of Santa standing by a Christmas tree bring out the Pavlovian response to buy buy buy, resist it. The truth is this: we can't spend our way out of a recession. The burdon of personal debt has to be weighed with the urge to put a little something under the tree for our loved ones.
Here's a thought: Forget the cashmere sweater, the latest and greatest eReader, or that non-descript gift card. Instead, tell them what the mean to you.
Find the words, open your mouth and say it.
Or write it down so that they have a lifelong keepsake. The notes I've kept from my long-departed loved ones mean more to me than what they left me under the tree, most of which is now long gone.
Over the next week, I'll up uplinking a different Norman Rockwell Santa, starting with--
THE SANTA ABOVE...
This Norman Rockwell illustration is from the December 4, 1926 cover of the Saturday Evening Post. He's scouring the globe for with his list of "Good Boys" in hand. Makes me wonder if his "Good Girls" book was twice as thick...
What with our now global economy, this work is a fitting reminder that we are all connected, in one way or another. (I'm guessing he'll be delivering lumps of coal to those banks who hold onto cash, and don't re-invest into their communities.)
Some other historic Santa illustrations:
Day 2: Norman Rockwell Santa from 1921
Day 3: Norman Rockwell Santa from 1927
Posted at 11:36 AM in Amuse Bouche, Art from the Heart, Books, Current Affairs, Norman Rockwell Santa Photos, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0)
Sotheby's has just auctioned off Elizabeth Taylor's treasure chest (no pun intended) of jewels.
The booty (sorry!) fetched $117 million, including a necklace that features a 16th Century pearl, La Peregrina, which had was once painted by 17th Century Spanish artist Velazquez.
That alone sold for $11.8 million, which is a record for the gem.
Also on the auction block was the actress' infamous 33.19-carat diamond ring, which was given to her by her twice-spouse, actor Richard Burton.
Despite all her great movies -- National Velvet, Giant, Splendor in the Grass, Cleopatra, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf - here was a time in Elizabeth Taylor's life when she was better known for what she wore around her neck, or on her fingers and ears, than her acting.
Personally, I think that's a shame, because I think she was an arresting actress. When she was on the screen, everyone else (well, except Montgomery Clift or Richard Burton) disappeared into the background.
But she was an even better celebrity. In that stellar firmament, everyone's got a gimmick.
Hers sparkled.
Taylor put it this way: "I adore wearing gems, but not because they are mine. You can't possess radiance, you can only admire it."
If only one of her earliest suitors, Howard Hughes, had known that. His way of courting was to wear down the prey-du-jour by offering a role in a movie at his studio RKO, cold hard cash--
Or jewels.
None of which worked with Taylor.
In fact, he stalked her to a gal pal's hideway in Palm Springs. There she was, soaking up the sun poolside when Hughes, piloting one of his helicopters, landed on the lawn. His greeting -- to sprinkle her with diamonds -- didn't get the result he wanted:
She ran away, giggling.
Smart girl.
I guess she meant it when she said, "I have a woman's body and a child's emotions."
Admit it, ladies: don't we all?
Watch the video, below, about Sotheby's auction...
Posted at 09:39 AM in Celebrity Stuff, Fashion, Film, Film Fatale, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filled with crowds who are laughing, smiling, chilled--
And headed to a pub.
Preferably Chandos.
You'll find me upstairs, in the corner hugging a window seat, with a glass of wine in hand...
Listening to the Friday night flirts.
Sometimes it's fun to be a ghost.
Posted at 05:53 PM in Amuse Bouche, Art from the Heart, Love, Actually, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0)
Because of a very fortunate turn of events this year in my writing career, I was asked to speak to other authors who had been my support system in the ups and downs of my 7-year career: the San Francisco chapter of the Romance Writers of America. This group is filled with an even mix of aspiriting and already published successful writers, all of whom have been there for each other with inspiring words, great advice, and a shoulder to cry on.
Yes, it was my turn to give back.
Here's what I told them (in the few moments when I wasn't dithering off-topic, on such things as house renovations from hell, book promotion, instore co-op and other necessary evils of success for the chosen few--
But then caffeine on a belly of oatmeal will do that to you. Next time: fill the ol' belly with pancakes first. Oh yeah: and look at your notes every once in a while...)
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The year 2011 did not start out well for me. I was one of many midlist authors who had a novel under contract with publishing house, but then it was dropped as part of a loss-saving attempt in light of the Borders bankruptcy.
I made sure that my own private pity party was short and bittersweet, then turned my attention on promoting the novel which was due out in April. I was proud of the buzz I'd already built prior to its release, which turned into a 10-market tour hosted by women who had the same career as Katie, the heroine in my book The Baby Planner.
As far as my editor was concerned, it paid off -- enough for her to ask me to lunch. As we nibbled lady-sized salads at the Bergdorf-Goodman Restaurant high over Central Park, she asked, "So what can I see next?"
This is why it's always a smart idea to promote promote promote your books, no matter what your publishing house is (or isn't) doing for it.
Knowing that you need to publish or perish, I was also smart enough to take the great advice of my writer pal, Bella Andre, who has hit it out of the park indie-pub'ing her re-acquired backlist and some new books. She convinced me that a novel which had had four editors salivating for it- (until it got shot down in committee) was the perfect test for me to indie-publish. The first book in that series, The Housewife Assassin's Handbook, is out now.
Thus far I'm loving the sales. The second in the series, The Houswife Assassin's Guide to Gracious Killing will be out by the end of the month. So yes, authors: Independent publishing is one way to watch your orphans thrive.
Writing novels is not for the faint of heart. I truly believe you need a wonderful agent to match you with the right editor: someone loves your writer's voice and your story, and wants to help make it the best book possible before showing it to the world.
But even a great agent and a superlative editor can't do the one thing that keeps an author writing for a living wage. For that, you need a legion of readers who fall in love with your characters, and wants to see more of them, and of you.
Thanks to my wonderful agent, Holly Root, who saw the potential in my books to translate into different media, my novels were shown to a talent agency which felt that they did indeed have the potential to be adapted into movies or as a TV series.
Well, they were right. One of Hollywood biggest producers, Jerry Bruckheimer, has optioned one of my books, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives, for a television show that will run on ABC.
So yes: this year has been a rollercoaster. But I was one of the lucky ones.
I'm making a living wage as a writer.
These readers are out there. I know authors who exhaust themselves trying to find them: touring, social networking, responding to comments and emails.
I strongly feel that, with the changes that are occuring in the distribution of books -- the surge of online book sales, coupled with the decline in the number of brick-and-mortar bookstores, not to mention the number of books they take on -- will also change the role of publishers:
They will have to get more agressive -- and smarter -- in how they promote the books they publish.
I have no doubt that they will soon publish less authors. But in order to thrive, they'll have to make the books they do publish as profitable as possible. This means focusing on marketing and promotion as well as distribution. They need to recognize niche markets for specific authors and their books, and court them...
Something that authors do, now, for themselves...if they're smart.
And could to even better if they had the financial resources and personpower of their pub houses.
Every author writing for that imprint is a brand.
Every book is a product under that brand.
This is, simply, Marketing 101.
Which brings me to you, the author:
If you're a writer, be prepared to spend most of your career in the 99 percent.
Everyone in this room writes, because we must write. This need to write comes from the depth of our souls.
Ninety-nine percent of the world doesn't have this desire. (Thank gawd! Aren't there already enough of us, in this very competitive field?)
So, consider yourself in the one percent.
Already, I applaud you.
A reality we all know: ninety-nine percent of aspiring writers will not get published by a New York publishing house. All the more reason I want to applaud the many I see this room who have made it into the one percent who have been traditionally published.
Of all traditionally published writers, how many have been able -- or will be able -- to make writing a fully-fledged career that pays the bills and puts food on the table? How many will still be published ten or twenty years from now?
I'm guessing that number is closer to one percent than 99 percent.
And of those who are lucky enough to make writing their vocation as well as their avocation, I'm guessing that 99 percent of them will never have the joy of learning that their book has been optioned and produced in an entertainment medium, such as film or television.
But here's the thing: If you ever want to be in THE 1 PERCENT (of the 1 percent who write; of the 1 percent who get an agent; of the one percent who get a publishing contract; of the 1 percent who can make a living writing; of the one percent who may enjoy watching their characters come alive in the small screen or the silver screen) you have to stay in the game.
You have to write.
Afterward, you have to edit, and re-edit, and edit again, until your manuscript is a page-turner.
Then you have to query a large, well-researched list of agents with your manuscript.
Once you get that agent, you have to to listen to him or her as to what else has to be done to it so that s/he will be enthusiastic when it is sent out to editors (remember: agents work on a commission, so they don't get paid until your book sells; they are putting sweat equity in you as well).
And once your book is published, you have to promote it.
And you have to write more books.
So, yeah: writing is the easy part.
Staying in the game is the hard part.
Last. Author. Standing.
(c) 2011 Josie Brown. All rights reserved.
The top photo is the book cover for Writing Romance: The Ultimate Guide on Craft, Creation and Industry Connections, which is published by the San Francisco Chapter of the Romance Writers of America
Both my husband and I have broadcast backgrounds. One very important lesson we learned in those previous gigs serves us well when we're editing text articles or, in the case of National Novel Writing Month, novels:
Should you feel something isn't working on your project, you can always fix it later.
Broadcast producers can always rely on post-production: the time spent in the production booth, editing the footage shot or recorded for the project. If, while shooting the segment, what you're getting on camera runs too long (exposition; needless scenes, etc), or the subject stutters or talks too much (dialogue) -- you rarely say "Cut" and start over. Instead, you'd wait until you were in the studio and saw the raw footage to determine which scenes needed to be trimmed.
The same goes for your manuscript. You job over the next few weeks is to put the story on the page. Afterward, you'll go through it page by page, chapter by chapter. If something reads false, go ahead and chop and dice it, until it reads to your satisfaction.
This won't happen in second draft either. You'll go through several drafts before you're truly pleased with your work.
Even after it sells to a publishing house (YES IT WILL SELL; YOU MUST BELIEVE THAT) you'll get notes back from your editor on how a scene or character should be tweaked. Then it will go through copy edits, where someone with a better grasp than you of grammar and syntax will take a shot at it, as well.
Because when it's ready for its public debut, your readers deserve the best story possible.
(c) 2011 Josie Brown. All rights reserved.
The photo above is from the BBC TV series, THE HOUR, which is one of my favorite shows. It looks at broadcast journalism in London, during the 1950s.
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I've got a question for you, and be honest: How many times do you read a chapter before you write the next one?
During National Novel Writing Month, many an aspiring novelist will start with a great character. He will know his hero backwards and forward, as if he is his very best friend.
He'll describe how the hero looks, down to the cleft in his chin. He'll know about his childhood, his teen angst, his tribulations and his desires.
But now that it's time to give his hero something to do, the writer stalls out.
Why does this happen?
Because in this case, the backstory is the story.
So why not move it front and center?
If you can answer yes to these four questions, then the Muse is trying to tell you (HELLOOOOO!) that the better book to write starts where your hero first intrigued you:
1. When describing your book to others, do you find yourself spending more time describing your hero's past, but get stuck on telling what will happen to him in the book?
2. Is half of what you wrote in your synopsis his backstory?
3. Did it take all of Chapter One to describe your character before you realized you had nowhere to go with Chapter Two?
4. Do you find yourself rewriting the details of your hero's past, because it's more interesting than considering his future?
Take a broad hint: There is gold in the hills of his backstory.
Harry Potter is a perfect example of this. Can you imagine if J.K. Rowling had started her epic story with, say, Book 6 -- The Half-Blood Prince -- when Harry was already at Hogwarts and just realizing his true role in a world turning darker, more sinister? Surely this book in the series and the seventh, could have been tweaked to stand-alone...
But consider how much was gained by knowing so much more of Harry's backstory.
That's because it was never just his backstory. It was the story.
Bottom line: start at the real beginning: when you first realized that your hero intrigued you.
Maybe it was when he did that old-soul thing at age three. Or when he had his first kiss. Or when he accidently drove his parent's car into the lake.
Not all stories were meant to start where we want them to begin. Sometimes they start earlier, or later.
If you start your story at a point that is most interesting in your character's life, your readers will be sucked along on his journey, too.
So take them along for the ride.
It ain't the prequel. It's the beginning of a wonderful friendship between your hero and your reader.
(c) 2011 Josie Brown. All rights reserved.
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I've got a question for you: Which character's backstory would you have liked to have read about, as a book?
For me, it is the character of Ethan Gage, in the wonderful historical suspense series by William Dietrich. We know that Ethan once studied under Benjamin Franklin. it would be a hoot to see his antics stateside, before we're introduced to him in Napoleon's Pyramids.
Posted at 11:06 AM in A Look at Books, Art from the Heart, Author Tips, Book Excerpt, BookLandia, Books, NaNoWriMo Tips, Red Hot Reads!, The Book Biz, Women Sleuths, Writer Tips, Your Right to Read...and Write | Permalink | Comments (4)
Because your goal each day of National Novel Writing Month is a word count, it's very easy to fall into a common trap: writing long passages of narration or exposition.
In other words, telling your readers, either via a narrator or the omnipotent third person, what is happening to your characters.
Do yourself a favor and FIGHT this temptation.
Why? Because what you're doing is "telling," not "showing," your readers.
Instead, craft your scenes with dialogue. It is much more interesting to your readers to have your characters talk to each other.
No doubt, narration or exposition is also important: for adding atmosphere, for setting up your scenes, for describing where the scenes take place, or how the characters look or feel.
And it utilizes takes more words than dialogue.
But if your characters don't verbalize their thoughts to each other, they aren't interacting normally.
For the majority of us, telepathy isn't a human trait: all the more reason your characters need to open their mouths to express their feelings.
If you're having a hard time moving from tell to show, pretend you're writing a play. What dialogue would you add to each scene?
Snappy dialogue. Snarky asides. Anger. Heartfelt revelations. All of these expressed emotions make scenes come alive, and make your readers laugh with -- or more importantly, fall in love with -- your characters.
This NaNoWriMo first draft may not be on par with Arthur Miller or Edward Albee or William Shakespeare, but it will go a long way to being completed if it engages readers.
Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf? Certainly not you!
(c) 2100 Josie Brown.
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Posted at 12:16 PM in A Look at Books, Art from the Heart, AU CURRANT AFFAIRS, Author Tips, Author to Author, Best. Beach. Ever, Blatant Self Promotion, Book Excerpt, BookLandia, Books, Creative Writing Tips, NaNoWriMo Tips, Red Hot Reads!, Romantic Suspense, The Book Biz, Women Sleuths, Writer Tips | Permalink | Comments (1)
Tags: ABC, creative writing, creative writing tips, Elizabeth Taylor, Impossibly Tongue-Tied, Jackson Pollock, Jerry Bruckheimer, Josie Brown, NaNoWriMo, NaNoWriMo Tips writing tips, National Novel Writing Month, Richard Burton, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives, The Baby Planner, Who's Afraid or Virginia Woolf
One analogy about the tips you often hear regarding National Novel Writing Month is to imagine your your sentences as strands of spaghetti that you toss onto the wall of your manuscript.
As with any wall that gets covered with wet noodles and tomato sauce, at some point it either looks like a mess—
Or, like a work of art.
After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Remember: you are your own Jackson Pollock. This project is just the first of your many masterpieces.
You'll have a natural inclination to go back, re-read it, and edit what you wrote.
Don't.
Why? Because the whole purpose of NaNoWriMo is to put as many words on the page as you can in these precious thirty days.
If you''re spending an hour — or worse yet, a full day — honing a specific page (or paragraph, or sentence) you will NEVER make your word count. The sheer weight of writing — and endless re-writing — are like ankle weights strapped onto a marathon runner: well before you reach the finish line, you will collapse in exhaustion.
Right now, you have only one goal: those 50,000 words, which is about two-thirds or half a standard manuscript submitted for publication, depending on the book.
After your thirtieth day, having reached your 50,000 words, most definitely you should re-read your story.
And re-read it again. And again.
And rewrite it. Continually.
Take note of misspellings, phrasing that is awkward, scenes that are deadly, and characters who don't move the plot forward.
The time you take to reshape your manuscript is what makes it a masterpiece, not how many words it is, or that you even finished it.
Your characters have to be engaging.
Your plot has to challenge them, give them moral dilemmas.
Your story has to be satisfying to your reader.
But your first step is to move that story from your head to the page.
Because ultimately, others want to read your masterpiece, too.
(c) 2011 Josie Brown
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Okay, now, tell the truth: Are you meeting your word count? And tell me why, or why not...
Posted at 11:59 AM in A Look at Books, Art from the Heart, Author Tips, Author to Author, Book Excerpt, BookLandia, Books, NaNoWriMo Tips, Red Hot Reads!, Romantic Suspense, The Book Biz, The Plot Thickens...(if you're lucky), Win, Women Sleuths, Writer Tips, Your Right to Read...and Write | Permalink | Comments (4)
Tags: ABC, creative writing, creative writing tips, Impossibly Tongue-Tied, Jackson Pollock, Jerry Bruckheimer, Josie Brown, NaNoWriMo, NaNoWriMo Tips writing tips, National Novel Writing Month, romantic suspense, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives, The Baby Planner, The Housewife Assassin's Handbook, win, women sleuths
Despite the fact that it is only Day 3 of National Novel Writing Month, I'm willing to bet that, before the clock strikes midnight tonight, one-tenth of everyone who began with high hopes of meeting their writing goals each day will have missed today's deadline...
And by tomorrow evening, they will have completely given up the ghost on the ideal of writing their book.
Don't let that person be you.
The only one who can defeat you from finishing your novel, then pitching it to an agent who sees its merit and wants to present it to publishers is YOU.
Yes, you heard me: you are your Boogie Man.
Your voice is the one whispering those niggling doubts that anyone will love your characters as much as you do.
No one taunts you more about your quirky sentence structure.
Only you think that your dialogue sucks, and that your plot has nowhere to go.
Do you see a pattern here?
Defeat comes from within.
Well, guess what? So does faith.
If you don't believe wholeheartedly in your book, no agent will, either.
If an agent never sees it, neither will any pub house editor.
And The Book That Never Was will be your greatest personal defeat.
It doesn't have to be.
Writing a book is not easy. Drawing from deep within that fantasy world within your brain and pouring it all out on (digital) paper is a skill that is honed one sentence at a time, and many drafts later.
In time, you will weave those sentences into the tapestry of your great story: one with tightly-woven plot threads that will awe all who have the chance to read it: first your critique partners, then the right agent, then an editor who is just excited about it as you --
And finally, a legion of fans, all of whom will be hungry to read your next book.
My first novel was sold as part of a two-book deal. When I broke this wonderful news to my sister, she was very excited for me, for all of about twenty seconds. Then, in a hushed voice, she asked: "But--they can't make you write another one...can they?"
Make me? Write another book?
Hell yeah, twist my arm...
Because it's what I do.
Whether anyone else believes I can do it or not, I write.
Hey, trust me: I have my own Boogie Man.
He fills me with doubts that the muse will some day kick me to the curb.
He tries to convince me that I'll lose my ability to tweak some real-life situation into a great "what if."
And that, one day, I'll just not care; that I will give up the need to write, to practice my art.
His stale breath has been wheedling doubts in my ear through three agents, four pub houses, and at least a dozen unsold manuscripts.
In fact, he was there last night, taunting me about a book proposal that went out just yesterday. He wants me to believe that it will be laughed out of every publishing house it's been sent to...
Well, he's wrong.
I may not have a magic force field to keep him out of my life, but I have a silver bullet that stops him dead in his tracks, every time:
I believe in my book.
Just like I've believed in all my books, even when others didn't.
I've now got a body of work to prove it. My books have found avid, appreciative audiences.
Yours will, too.
How about you? Do you believe in your story, your characters, about your vision of a life as a writer?
Then start writing it. Again.
Put those words down on the page. Set a daily goal for yourself, and meet it. Trust me, you won't be writing REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM over and over.
To paraphase Winston Groom, author of Forrest Gump, writing is a bowl of cherries.
Now, in a paraphrasical mashup of Mr. Groom and Mario Puzo, author of The Godfather:
Drop the Boogie Man. Take the bowl of cherries.
(c) 2011 Josie Brown. All Rights Reserved
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Posted at 11:59 AM in A Look at Books, Amuse Bouche, Art from the Heart, Author Tips, Author to Author, Blatant Self Promotion, Book Excerpt, BookLandia, Books, Contests, Contests and Other Fun Stuff!, Creative Writing Tips, espionage novels, NaNoWriMo Tips, Red Hot Reads!, Romantic Suspense, The Book Biz, Win, Women Sleuths, Writer Tips | Permalink | Comments (0)
I am forever amazed at authors who tell me that they write their books without first outlining the plot of their stories.
Usually the conversation goes something like this:
Would Be Author: "Plotting? NOOOOO! I'd never do that! I'd be crushing my muse! My characters take me on their journey, not the other way around...."
Me: "Yeah, right, whatever....Um, how long have you been working on that book?"
Would Be Author, after a long silence: "Well, let's see...I started it in the third year of W's second term in office..."
You get my drift.
Dear NaNo Newbie: I never want to have that same conversation with you.
I never want to see the pain in your eyes when you hear that NaNo Pal Such-and-Such just finished his novel/got an agent/sold his book to Random House. Why? Because I know you'll be thinking, "That could have been me, had I only (a) gotten beyond the first chapter (b) figured out where my story was going (c) hadn't run out of steam...."
By the way, "steam" is a euphenism for "plot."
Which gets us back to the iceberg at the bottom of this tip: Create an outline for your story -- so that you actually have a plot.
Would Be Author is what we scribes call a "pantser": someone who writes by the seat of their pants.
Even published authors do it. Many of my writer pals, in fact (Hey! Yeah, YOU! You know who you are...)
They are the ones who (a) work 10 hours a day for the same 3,000 words it takes a plotter to do in, say 4 hours, or (b) turn in their manuscripts after their editors deadlines, and yet (c) still stubbornly insist it's the only way they can write....
WRONG.
Writing is a discipline, and plotting is the foundation in which your wonderful book will be built.
Don't get halfway through it, then kick yourself because it needs a character who should have entered 40 pages earlier, or because you have to substitute more action in place of all that middle-of-the-book navel gazing...
Admit it: YOU were navel-gazing, too...weren't you?
That's because you got lost in the wilderness of your wonderful mind...
The breadcrumbs are your plot.
You will still see all those wonderful characters on the way to your final destination, but your novel's outline is the map that takes you there.
This outline will route you through many twists and turns. Along the way, you'll write in many interesting characters that actually DO something in the story which moves the plot forward: up some very challenging plot hills, and down into scary abysses--
All the while allowing the reader to care--no, to LOVE--your hero or heroine.
Bottom line: give your story a great beginning, and page-turning middle, and a satisfying ending.
Think 30 chapters (estimate) in 300 pages (again, nothing written in stone) --
And write something on each page -- in each chapter -- to make readers want more of your hero(ine).
You may argue, "But doing an outline confines you to those plot points!"
I disagree! Your outline is the path that takes you from Point A (your first word) to Point Z (The End). Along the way, feel free to stop and smell the roses you find there, be they a character who comes to you out of the blue, or an incident that allows you to meander in a field along your way to your final desination--
The completion of your book.
(c) 2015 Josie Brown. All Rights Reserved
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Okay, now, tell the truth: Do you plot, or pants? And tell me why...
Posted at 12:00 PM in A Look at Books, Amuse Bouche, AU CURRANT AFFAIRS, Author Tips, Blatant Self Promotion, Book Excerpt, BookLandia, Books, Contests, Contests and Other Fun Stuff!, espionage novels, NaNoWriMo Tips, Red Hot Reads!, Romantic Suspense, The Book Biz, Win, Women Sleuths, Writer Tips | Permalink | Comments (4)
Tags: ABC, creative writing, creative writing tips, Impossibly Tongue-Tied, Jerry Bruckheimer, Josie Brown, NaNoWriMo, NaNoWriMo Tips writing tips, National Novel Writing Month, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives, The Baby Planner
My first tip: Treat writing as a career.
Why? Because those of us who call ourselves writers don't see it as a hobby.
It is a way of life.
The term "avocation" fits it well, yes. But so does the word "vocation." That's because writing is also our chosen career.
It can be yours, too -- if you choose to make it such.
Fate (zeitgeist, fairy dust, whatever) has a lot to do with any writer's success. But so does determination. That thing called inspiration happens to everyone--but not everyone puts in the hard work to take a high concept and develop it into a full-length story that plays out page after page, and keeps readers intrigued until the very last sentence.
I truly believe that those of us who take the time and make the effort can be published.
I believe that person is YOU.
(c) 2011 Josie Brown. All Rights Reserved
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TOMORROW, I'LL HAVE ANOTHER TIP FOR YOU...
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If you think so, too, comment below as to why. What drives you to write?
Check out my website for my latest releases and contests...
Posted at 10:45 AM in A Look at Books, Amuse Bouche, And the Winner Is..., AU CURRANT AFFAIRS, Author Tips, Author to Author, Blatant Self Promotion, Book Excerpt, BookLandia, Books, Housewife Assassin's Handbook, NaNoWriMo Tips, Red Hot Reads!, Romantic Suspense, The Book Biz, Win, Women Sleuths, Writer Tips | Permalink | Comments (2)
Tags: creative writing, getting published, how to write a novel, Impossibly Tongue-Tied, Jerry Bruckheimer, Josie Brown, NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, novel writing, novel writing tips, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives, The Baby Planner, The Housewife Assassins Handbook
Novelist Helen Fielding is hard at work on the third installment of Bridget Jones's Diary. That's fine with me. I loved the first book, and its movie version.
Not to mention that enough time has passed to make the sequel's rushed-to-cinema-in-a-mere-three-years-I'm-joking-folks mistakes a passing memory. I have no problem revisiting enjoyable characters. Just be sure to give them a dash of realistic conflict, and sprinkle scintilating dialogue liberally throughout. Helen and her gang (director and gal pal Sharon Malone, screenwriters Andrew Davies and Richard Curtis) are great at that.
This time around, however, Renee Zellweger, the actress who's name is synonymous with the lead role, has begged off packing on the pounds to play up Bridget's renowned weight issue. "I had a panic attack with all the specialists talking about how bad this is for you long term, putting on that much weight in short periods of time," the London Daily Mail quotes her as saying.
She's absolutely right.
But does that make for good cinema?
Granted, we love Bridget because she is us: lovable, albeit flawed. But let's look at it another way: it's been fifteen years since the book hit the shelves, and ten years since the first movie was released. I'd like to think that a smart gal like Bridget would have grown in so many ways--
Not necessarily around her waistline.
Perhaps she'd have finally conquered that issue. Or maybe she's traded it in for the stress that comes with balancing a relationship with a career, not to mention aging parents and the desire to have children.
As it turns out, that just so happens to be the hook for the new movie's plot: that Bridget can't have children with Mark...and turns to Daniel.
Sometimes a too-thin physique can weaken a woman's ability to make the necessary hormones and/or ovulate, hindering her from having children. Perhaps that could be written into the plot?
Let's think out of the box, people. Renee deserves to keep her couture-perfect bod.
Unless the Academy wants to give her an Oscar for pulling a Russell Crowe (The Insider) or a Robert De Niro (Raging Bull).
But Renee already has her Academy Award: for her best supporting actress turn in Cold Mountain. That was payback for passing her over as best actress in Rob Marshall's brilliant adaptation of the musical Chicago.
Those roles were golden. Bridget is just (nonfat) icing on a great slice of life. What a wonderful body of work
What a wonderful body, period,
-- Josie
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK
Murder. Suspense. Sex.
And some handy household tips.
Signal Press - Digital eBook
ORDER NOW, from
Also in in the Apple iBookstore!
Enter The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Contest to win free movie tickets to AMC theaters, or another theater near you!
I'm giving away $50 in Fandango Bucks
to some lucky winner who likes thriller movies as much as romantic suspense!
CLICK HERE TO READ THE CONTEST RULES...
Posted at 10:01 PM in Amuse Bouche, AU CURRANT AFFAIRS, Books, Celebrity Stuff, CLITerature, Film, FILM a la FEMME, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
This side of the pond may know Daniel Craig as 007, but our British cousins have had the good fortune of seeing him in a variety of great roles that show a softer/more vulnerable/much more ironic side of the actor.
I'd read some fairly great reviews of his 2004 movie Layer Cake, so I decided to check it out. It did not disappoint. Craig plays a bean-counting cocaine middleman who wants to retire from the dirty biz, but gets suckered into doing one last "favor" for the drug kingpin running him.
Lots of plot twists: not everyone is whom they portend to be. Great cinematography, too, and a superlative sound track. The bad guys are complex characters. If it reminds one of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, that's because the movies share the same producers.
'Flix it. You won't be disappointed. Daniel Craig is more than eye candy. He's just desserts, too.
-- Josie
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK
Murder. Suspense. Sex.
And some handy household tips.
Signal Press - Digital eBook
ORDER NOW, from
Also in in the Apple iBookstore!
Enter The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Contest to win free movie tickets to AMC theaters, or another theater near you!
I'm giving away $50 in Fandango Bucks
to some lucky winner who likes thriller movies as much as romantic suspense!
CLICK HERE TO READ THE CONTEST RULES...
Posted at 11:24 PM in A View from a Bond (or Two...), Amuse Bouche, And the Winner Is..., Books, Celebrity Stuff, Contests, Contests and Other Fun Stuff!, espionage novels, Film, FILM a la FEMME, Film Fatale, Red Hot Reads!, thriller books, Trailer Smash, Win | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
I was (as we say there) born and raised in Atlanta. I grew up in the Atlanta of the 1960s. Back then, the mayor, a progressive-minded man named William Hartsfield (and back then, "progressive" wasn't a dirty word) made our slogan, "The city too busy to hate."
Keep in mind that Atlanta was also the home of Martin Luther King, Jr.
I was a child of the sixties. I remember segregation and integration, which happened while I was in elementary school. I also remember Dr. King's assassination, in Memphis. At my school in DeKalb County, as we watched the funeral on television, I remember our teacher's prediction: "You will always remember this day."
She was right, although we were too young to understand what it meant.
At one time, it had also been the home of the Klu Klux Klan. In fact, it once stood on what is now the grounds of one of the three elegant churches that grace Peachtree Street at the southern apex of Buckhead known as "Christ Curve." The biggest irony is that the church is a Catholic congregation: a religion that the KKK hated. That the priests decided to invited the Klan's Imperial Wizard to the dedication is proof positive that any piece of land can be sanctified.
Which brings me to the questions being raised by the movie based on Kathryn Stockett's runaway bestselling book, The Help:
First, does it vilify its Caucasian characters? And secondly, does it correctly represent the African-American dialects of the time? And finally, do the African-American experiences ring true?
My own opinion: I loved the book. And my personal take on the first is that Ms. Stockett has been true to the South we both grew up in (albeit a few years, and miles, apart).
Before integration, there was a difinitive separation of classes. Whereas some of it was based on "breeding." (Who was your daddy's daddy, and your mama's people?).
Certainly religion played into it. But mostly, it was based on color.
Integration was resented by most of the Caucasian population. No one who lived through it can deny that.
In many ways Hartfield's Atlanta was a bubble of positive race relations, but no one who lived there during those tulmultious times cannot deny that it had its fair share of racial violence. The 1958 bombing of the Jewish Temple on Peachtree Street in Atlanta's Brookwood neighborhood was one very sad example.
My parents had moved to Atlanta in the mid-fifties, from Manhattan, because of a transfer that my father had agreed to. My maiden name is Martinez, and both my parents had been born in Puerto Rico, albeit raised stateside. Like them--and unlike my older sister--I had thick, curly dark hair and an olive complexion, but also light eyes. I remember a little boy in my class asking me, "What are you?" The question stumped me. I didn't know how to answer! I mean, I was a girl, of course. Wasn't that obvious?
His next question shamed me, because I interpreted it as a slur: "Are you a nigger?"
That was a word we never used in my house. Ever. I had no right to feel ashamed.
I wonder if there was a time, even later in life, where he grew to regret his own use of it.
Had I grown up in the North, I'm sure I'd have heard another taunt: "Spic." But since we weren't the predominant minority in Atlanta, that word wasn't as well known back then. I guess we skirted by. Sure, our name was inevitably mispronounced ("Mart-TEEN-ez" became "Martin-EZZ"). That is a small price to pay for the privilege of being allowed to "pass."
To answer the second question: yes, the South has many dialects, for both the predominant races. When I lived there, I could tell if the person speaking to me was from Georgia, Alabama, North Carolina or Texas by his or her "twang." Then again, I could also tell an Aussie from a Kiwi. I guess I have an ear for dialects. It got me into radio. (The need for sanity got me out of it.)
I moved from the South after marriage, to the San Francisco Bay Area. I married a Yankee: a nice Jewish boy from the Bronx, who had moved to Atlanta after college. As much as I loved Atlanta and had grown up around Southerners, I never got over the presumption that I might be too exotic for any man who drank rum and Cokes, had gone to UGA (University of Georgia, but pronounced "ugga," like the infamous mutt mascot for that grand institution school) and aspired to a partnership at King & Spalding.
So, yep, I can certainly relate to The Help's heroine, Skeeter. The world is a very big place. That's a good thing for those of us who must question the local customs, or who refuse to conform to society's current norm.
I take it as a good sign that some people who have seen the movie or have read the book are truly appalled at the class divisiveness portrayed in The Help, and the cluelessness of the cruelty demonstrated by some of its Caucasian characters.
They should be. That goes for all of us. Especially those of us who lived through it.
When my daughter was in the fourth grade and studying the Civil War, she chided me for my Southern roots. "Mom, how could you have lived in a place where Eva and I could not have been friends?" Eva, her BFF, is African-American.
After reminding her that I was born more than a century after the Civil War, I had to agree with her, and break the news to her that some people still judge others by their skin color.
I will always consider Atlanta my home. I am very proud of my hometown, as I am sure Ms. Stockett is of hers, Jackson, Mississippi. The reality is that neither of us can change its history. Our memories, our perceptions and our interpretations of the places we grew up -- as well as those of others who also grew up in that time and those places -- are ours own.If they don't reflect that of others, so be it. The South can be charming. It can also be provencial and cruel.
Then again, so can New York, Paris, and London.
But I guess if a commonor can marry a king-in-the-wings, the world is changing for the good.
-- Josie
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK
Murder. Suspense. Sex.
And some handy household tips.
Signal Press - Digital eBook
ORDER NOW, from
Also in in the Apple iBookstore!
Enter The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Contest to win free movie tickets to AMC theaters, or another theater near you!
I'm giving away $50 in Fandango Bucks
to some lucky winner who likes thriller movies as much as romantic suspense!
CLICK HERE TO READ THE CONTEST RULES...
The prize is awesome: $50 in Fandango Bucks, so that you can have a few movie date nights on me.
Here's what you have to do:
2. Now, answer this question: What is the name of Penelope's son?
EMAIL YOUR ANSWER TO: [email protected] along with your name and snail mail address.
All correct entries must be recieved no later than midnight PT, October 31, 2011. Winners will be announced November 2, 2011, here on this site.
3. BONUS POINTS for friending THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK on:
- Facebook 5 points!
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- Sign up for Donna's Daily Killer Tip. 5 points!
Posted at 10:01 AM in Books, Contests and Other Fun Stuff!, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
I had a great conversation with freelance editor John Rakstraw, which was broadcasted on is Blog Talk Radio show. (Click the icon below. The interview starts about 6 minutes into it.)
One of the topics we touched on was the fact that promoting the book you've written is very important to its success. Why? because there are 180,000 books published each year. How can readers find your book (on the shelf, or online) if they haven't heard of it first?
I truly believe that to stay in the game, authors have to become strong self-promoters. I also believe that, other than editing, the strongest component a publishing house can offer its authors is promotion. Otherwise, why would an author settle for 8-15% of a book's gross profit, when indie publishing (which takes care of online distribution anyway) allows them to hold onto 70% of it?
Hope you enjoy what I had to say on it,
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK
Murder. Suspense. Sex.
And some handy household tips.
Signal Press - Digital eBook
ORDER NOW, from
Also in in the Apple iBookstore!
Enter The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Contest to win free movie tickets to AMC theaters, or another theater near you!
I'm giving away $50 in Fandango Bucks
to some lucky winner who likes thriller movies as much as romantic suspense!
Posted at 11:59 AM in A Look at Books, Blatant Self Promotion, Books, Red Hot Reads!, The Book Biz | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
I can talk non-stop about my book The Baby Planner. I so enjoyed writing about my heroine, Katie Johnson. We all excel in at least one way, but we also have our weak spots. Katie's leaves her vulnerable in the one area she thinks she will always be blessed: family.
Little does she know....
But hey, I don't want to give it way. Listen to what I have to say about it here,
THE BABY PLANNER
Simon & Schuster/Gallery Books / In stores April 5, 2011
ORDER YOUR COPY TODAY:
From Barnes & Noble / Barnes & Noble Nook
From Your Local Independent Bookstore
Signed copies from Liberty Bay Books
Posted at 07:59 AM in Blatant Self Promotion, Books, Red Hot Reads!, Trailer Smash, TUBE BOOBETTE | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Tina Fey's 30 Rock has been queen of the TV hill for quite some time. Maybe it's me, but I just don't get it. The show's over-the-top farce leaves me cold. Sure, the acting is great, but the laugh lines seem forced.
The Office, on the other hand, is chockful of characters everyone has encountered in real life: the office Nazi (Dwight); the superior prude (Angela); the idiot (Kevin); the airhead (Kelly)...
And then there's Michael Scott, a.k.a. Steve Carrell: an inappropriate boss who thinks his office coworkers are his family, because he truly doesn't have a life outside the office.
At first his character was written to be crass. Then the writers got wise and infused his obnoxious behavior with an underlying pathos. We know that guy: he tries so hard to win us over that we are repelled by him.
In any regard, we feel his pain.
We'll miss in him the (many, I hope) coming seasons.
Many of regulars are also its writers: B. J. Novak was cast as temp Ryan Howard. Paul Lieberstein is human resources director Toby Flenderson; Mindy Kaling is the shopaholic airhead Kelly Kapoor. The infuse every character with emotional layers that go beyond the typical archtypes.
And that is why I think The Office should get its Emmy this year.
Ah, if only I were queen of the TV universe...but no, Tina Fey has that throne and sceptor.
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK
Murder. Suspense. Sex.
And some handy household tips.
Signal Press - Digital eBook
ORDER NOW, from
Also in in the Apple iBookstore!
Enter The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Contest to win free movie tickets to AMC theaters, or another theater near you!
I'm giving away $50 in Fandango Bucks
to some lucky winner who likes thriller movies as much as romantic suspense!
CLICK HERE TO READ THE CONTEST RULES...
Posted at 09:16 AM in Amuse Bouche, AU CURRANT AFFAIRS, Celebrity Stuff, Red Hot Reads!, Television, TOO FUNNEE!, TUBE BOOBETTE | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Gabby M., Scottsdale, AZ
Here's how I envision lucky Gabby's summer: she's found a cool spot somewhere outside in the early evening. Awarm breeze is flipping the pages of the book she's reading. It is just one of the many that surround her, there in her own private reading space.
If her husband can keep the tots at bay for an hour or two, she can get into some grand mystery, or a heart wrenching trajedy, or some tell-all Hollywood saga.
Or maybe it's The Baby Planner.
In any regard, enjoy, Gabby!
Everyone else: Thanks for joining. My next contest starts later this month, and celebrates The Housewife Assassin's Handbook. Want to get a jump on it? Read this excerpt...
Summer rocks in SO many ways,
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK
Murder. Suspense. Sex.
And some handy household tips.
Signal Press - Digital eBook
ORDER NOW, from
Also in in the Apple iBookstore!
Enter The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Contest to win free movie tickets to AMC theaters, or another theater near you!
I'm giving away $50 in Fandango Bucks
to some lucky winner who likes thriller movies as much as romantic suspense!
Posted at 11:09 AM in And the Winner Is..., Blatant Self Promotion, Contests, Red Hot Reads!, Win | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
I want to thank all 1,048 of you who entered GoodRead's giveaway of five copies of The Baby Planner!
The winners are:
- Sonia Bond
- Renee Lippert
- Susan Fulginiti
- Nina Renner
- Alicia Schultz
I hope you love it, and will chat it up to your friends.
For those of you who have not yet read it, I'm proud of the fact that it got some super reviews. Feel free toread an excerpt of it here...
Also feel free to read a excerpt of my just released digital eBook, The Housewife Assassin's Handbook. That contest will be announced soon, on my website.
By the way, I'll be announcing the winner of my contest for a $100 gift card by noon tomorrow, by which time I hope to have reached the winner.
It's a great summer to curl up with a good book (preferably, mine),
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK
Murder. Suspense. Sex.
And some handy household tips.
Signal Press - Digital eBook
ORDER NOW, from
Also in in the Apple iBookstore!
Enter The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Contest to win free movie tickets to AMC theaters, or another theater near you!
I'm giving away $50 in Fandango Bucks
to some lucky winner who likes thriller movies as much as romantic suspense!
CLICK HERE TO READ THE CONTEST RULES...
Posted at 07:14 PM in A Look at Books, And the Winner Is..., Blatant Self Promotion, Books, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Ahhhhhh.... now I feel better!
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK
Murder. Suspense. Sex.
And some handy household tips.
Signal Press - Digital eBook
ORDER NOW, from
Also in in the Apple iBookstore!
Enter The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Contest to win free movie tickets to AMC theaters, or another theater near you!
I'm giving away $50 in Fandango Bucks
to some lucky winner who likes thriller movies as much as romantic suspense!
CLICK HERE TO READ THE CONTEST RULES...
Posted at 04:12 PM in Blatant Self Promotion, Books, Contests, Contests and Other Fun Stuff!, Red Hot Reads!, thriller books, Win | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
On one hand, I was disappointed with the Supreme Court ruling that threw the gender bias lawsuit against omnipotent retailer, Wal-Mart, out of court. I would imagine that if it were a company-wide policy, then EVERY woman should have been included in this class-action case.
But who is to say, if only a handful came forward of the thousands of women who at Wal-Mart work, or have worked there over the years?
On the other hand, the women who actually stood up about these practices should be the ones to reap the benefit from the outcome of the case, should the court rules in their favor--
Of course, the attorneys will be getting their cut first, so it may be a hollow victory at best.
To paraphrase Marilyn Monroe in Some Like it Hot? "I'm tired of getting the fuzzy end of the lollypop?"
You can watch that scene here...
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK
Murder. Suspense. Sex.
And some handy household tips.
Signal Press - Digital eBook
ORDER NOW, from
Also in in the Apple iBookstore!
Enter The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Contest to win free movie tickets to AMC theaters, or another theater near you!
I'm giving away $50 in Fandango Bucks
to some lucky winner who likes thriller movies as much as romantic suspense!
CLICK HERE TO READ THE CONTEST RULES...
Posted at 09:37 AM in Amuse Bouche, Back to Reality, Books, Contests, Contests and Other Fun Stuff!, espionage novels, Film, FILM a la FEMME, REALITY BYTES, Red Hot Reads!, thriller books | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
They auctioned off Marilyn Monroe's iconic white halter dress from The Seven Year Itch. You remember the one: as she stood over a subway grate in front of the Trans-Lux Theater, it billowed up around her thighs. The way it was written into the movie, the object was to keep her cool--
Or was it to make every guy watching her get hot under the collar?
That was the case with her husband at the time: Joe DiMaggio. Afterward they had a shouting match in the theater lobby. She filed for divorce soon afterward.
The dress went for $4.5 million. It was sold by actress Debbie Reynolds, who, besides starring in several Hollywood classics herself (Tammy and the Bachelor, The Unsinkable Molly Brown) has a true appreciation for Hollywood lore. For years, much of her collection was kept at her hotel in Las Vegas, where she performed. A bad real estate investment forced her to sell off various pieces. This time around she also sold Monroe's red sequined dress from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (it went for $1.2 million, albeit it was projected to bring $200,000 - $300,000), and another of my favorites, Audrey Hepburn's Ascot dress from My Fair Lady, which sold for $3.7 million.
Other pieces sold by the auction house, Profiles in History included:
- Judy Garland's blue cotton dress used in test shots for The Wizard of Oz, $910,000 (estimate: $60,000-$80,000)
- Grace Kelly's rose crepe outfit from To Catch a Thief: $450,000 (estimate: $30,000-$50,000);
- Marlon Brando's elaborate coronation costume from Napoleon Bonaparte: $60,000 (estimate: $60,000-$80,000);
- Claude Rains' ivory military suit from Casablanca: $55,000 (estimate: $12,000-$15,000);
- ElizabethTaylor's brown period dress from Raintree County: $10,000 (estimate: $10,000-$15,000);
- Madonna's black evening gown and shoes from Evita: $22,500 (estimate: $4,000-$6,000);
- Mike Myers' swinging '60s suit from "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me: $11,000 (estimate: $6,000-$8,000); and
- A high-school graduation dress of Natalie Wood's: $4,250 (estimate: $2,000-$3,000).
I had the pleasure of interviewing Ms. Reynolds a few years back. In fact, it was my very first celebrity interview. I remember her as gracious, witty, and vulnerable: she is every inch a star, but a sweet human being as well. I could have hung with her all weekend, if she'd have let me. Seriously, she is that much fun.
And so candid. She answered all my questions, even the sticky ones. If I find that interview, I'll be sure to post it here.
As I was leaving I mentioned that my favorite of all movies was one of hers: Singin' in the Rain. "I'll sign the DVD, if you have it," she offered.
Stupid, stupid me! Why didn't I think to bring it? I never made that mistake again!
Oh, well. In hindsight, I should have asked her if I could try on Marilyn's dress, just once!
Want to see what all the fuss is about? Just watch the video clip below...
Enjoy,
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK
Murder. Suspense. Sex.
And some handy household tips.
Signal Press - Digital eBook
ORDER NOW, from
Also in in the Apple iBookstore!
Enter The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Contest to win free movie tickets to AMC theaters, or another theater near you!
I'm giving away $50 in Fandango Bucks
to some lucky winner who likes thriller movies as much as romantic suspense!
CLICK HERE TO READ THE CONTEST RULES...
Posted at 12:18 AM in Amuse Bouche, AU CURRANT AFFAIRS, Books, Film, I've Got Some Red Hot Reads for You, Red Hot Reads!, Trailer Smash, TUBE BOOBETTE | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
No let me be very clear: I like watching Daniel Craig in ANYTHING.
Especially tight white jeans.
Or nothing.
Use your imagination.
Watch a bit of it with me:
See what I mean?
Donna Stone is the kick-ass girlee version of Bond.
In other words, don't piss her off.
And heaven help you if you make her miss her kids' car pool pick up.
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK
Murder. Suspense. Sex.
And some handy household tips.
Signal Press - Digital eBook
ORDER NOW, from
Posted at 09:03 AM in A View from a Bond (or Two...), Amuse Bouche, Red Hot Reads!, Tome of the Mommy, TUBE BOOBETTE | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Emptying the nest is a bitch. Especially if it's filled with books.
First there is the emotional upheaval that comes with the decision to leave a house which holds so many family memories.
Then there's the physical exhaustion from sorting, packing, hauling, and perhaps dumping stuff you've acculumlated since that day you moved into your once pristine abode.
Add to that the boxing of the things that you simply cannot live without.
In my case, that includes books. And more books. And even more books.
Am I kidding myself when I insist that there are very few things in my life which I consider keepers?
My husband Martin and kids are a given. As to the physical and inanimate,there our family photos; an antique desk; two antique brass lamps, which an aunt brought over from Japan where her husband was stationed there; a few knotty pine pieces (my Georgia roots are showing); a 1930s Coca-Cola sign (again, my Georgia roots are deep and strong); a framed poster of Sausalito, painted by Neil Betts; an original Mid-Century Eames rocker; a few wrought iron pieces--
Oh yeah: and those boxes and boxes of books.
Twelve years ago we moved in with 44 boxes of them, so I'd say have done a fairly good job of gutting my book collection, along with my psyche. Talk about a book lover's Sophie's Choice! (Don't worry, that was one of the keepers.)
Believe it oro not, I find it harder for my to give away books than to pack them up, yet again.
Before we bought this house, we'd moved five times in ten year, all the while renting. The moves were hellacious, and much more difficult because our kids were young and had their own issues over what to keep or toss.
Back then I had the dilemma of moving a baby grand piano, too. It had been mine since I was thirteen, and my mother had allowed me to take it from her home when I "settled down," i.e., got married. Based on my pride over it, you'd think I played like Leonard Bernstein. In truth, it was more like Chico Marx, only with all ten fingers. But my meager repertoire of three memorized sonatas did not merit moving that poor piano yet again--
Besides, I needed room for my books.
So many books, so few boxes. How did we end up with so many biographies about Lincoln? Martin collects books on religion, nutrition, Trollope, and dead presidents. I pride myself on my sets of hardcover novels from John Le Carre, Edith Wharton, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Martin Cruise Smith.
And there are no bad E.L. Doctorows.
But since we're downsizing, what is allowed to stay couldnt be a longer list than what should go.
This includes a stray Louis L'Amore or two, not to mention a . Son will take the Michael Crightons. Daughter grabs all the Christopher Buckleys. If I need a fix of either, I know where to find them.
Who knew I had a copy of Cherry Ames, Senior Nurse? El Stranger by Camus is in French. Since I don't read in that language, bon soire to it, and ooh la la to that lucky someone who comes across it, next month at my local library's book sale.
Some books got a reprieve because I like the cover as well as the story, (a trade paperback version of Kay Boyle's Year Before Last) or becuase the title intrigues me (Coming of Age in the Milky Way).
Then there are my humongous research collections. Books on Hollywood filled five boxes, whereas those about my hometown of Atlanta during the turn of the last century fit in just one. And like stoic SS officers, tomes about Nazi Germany lined up dutifully in two of the boxes.
These tomes are near and dear to me because I'll be writing novels based on all these topics. Besides some of these books are out of print, so it's not like I can buy them in digital form, even if I wanted to...
Okay, the truth now: would I want to?
"Just think how easy our move would be, without all these heavy boxes," Martin wheezed as he and Son lug box after box into two storage closets that, I pray, will be overlooked by the prospective buyers traipsing through our home.
He didn't hear me gasp. If he had, he'd have called me silly and pointed out that eBooks allow for highlighting an bookmarking and searching -- all of which make them comparable to paper books.
And an eReader is so much lighter: by, say, 28 boxes, even more.
But my books are me.
Eventually we'll be storing all our books in a cloud. Okay, I'll admit it: as a writer, that freaks me out. I love running my eyes over my shelves of books until a title, or great spine art, that stops me cold. I leaf through it, read the opening line, get sucked into the story by an intriguing first paragraph, by an alluring first page...
Am I the only one who thinks books are eye candy?
Forget those twinkling glass chips in the fireplace, or all those tall vases overflowing with roses. To my mind, nothing warms up a home more than a library of books...
But try telling that to your realtor.
Books make a home. Without them, I'm just passing through.
THE BABY PLANNER - A Novel by Josie Brown
In Bookstores Now!
Chosen as one of the "Top 5 Must-Read Spring 2011 Paperbacks" by SheKnows.com
(Simon & Schuster/Gallery Books)
ISBN#: 9781439197127 - Trade Paperback
ISBN# 9781439197134 - BN Nook Edition
ASIN: B0043RSK8U - Kindle Edition
"Brown (Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives) takes baby mania to its illogical, hysterical extreme in this bubbly romp. Thirty-seven-year-old Katie's biological clock is ticking like a time bomb, and she turns her baby obsession into a wildly successful consultant gig planning nurseries for pregnant women too rich, clueless, bedridden, or busy to do the task themselves.
Even grieving widower Seth, who works with Katie's child-shy husband, Alex, on a demanding new business venture, needs Katie's services to help him manage his perplexing new role as a single dad. But what begins as a light foray into Bugaboo country turns into something bigger than a satire of status-obsessed Bay Area yummy mummies as Brown takes a dark look at the fears of parenthood and family, with Katie's heartbreaking longing for a child unveiling a disturbing reality about her marriage and family. Still, the message from the somber realities is one full of hope: love makes a family, commitment keeps it together."
--Publishers Weekly
Posted at 05:24 PM in A Look at Books, Books, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
I’d read Gone With the Wind, thirteen times before I’d reached the age of sixteen. Like the many readers who have fallen in love with Margaret Mitchell’s classic novel over the past 75 years, in my mind the book to be the epitome of a sweeping saga: while our country’s bloody Civil War raged on altering lives and fortunes, Scarlett O’Hara—the book’s beautiful, selfish, prideful tempestuous heroine—stood dead center in a love triangle with a blackguard of a bad boy—Rhett Butler, of course--and the honorable golden boy next door, Ashley Wilkes.
Yes, it was a captivating read.
All books should be so compelling.
I was born and raised (as they say there) in Atlanta, Georgia: home to Ms. Mitchell, and the key location of the novel. There, an obsession with GWTW is not only acceptable, it’s mandated on your birth certificate, drivers’ license, homeowner deed and library card.
Of course, I’m kidding…sort of.
Not that you have to be from Atlanta to love Scarlett. Hundreds of millions of copies of the book have been sold, in 35 languages.
How do you say “Fiddle-dee-dee” in Laotian? Does it matter that it doesn't translate exactly? Not in the least. The universal language is, and always shall be, love, in all ages and stages, from puppy to unrequited.
I’ve since discovered many writers whose stories are just as compelling, and whose heroines are just as flawed. Take Ondine Sprague in Edith Wharton’s Custom of the Country, or Lisbeth Salamandar in Stieg Larsson's Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: both strong women who confound (and intrigue) the men in their lives.
Here's hoping that my heroines -- Hannah in True Hollywood Lies, or Lyssa in Secret Lives of Husbands and WIves or Katie in The Baby Planner, or Donna in The Housewife Assassin's Handbook -- enthrall my readers, too.
Because frankly, my dears, I do give a damn.
Tomorrow is another day,
THE BABY PLANNER - A Novel by Josie Brown
In Bookstores Now!
Chosen as one of the "Top 5 Must-Read Spring 2011 Paperbacks" by SheKnows.com
(Simon & Schuster/Gallery Books)
ISBN#: 9781439197127 - Trade Paperback
ISBN# 9781439197134 - BN Nook Edition
ASIN: B0043RSK8U - Kindle Edition
"Brown (Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives) takes baby mania to its illogical, hysterical extreme in this bubbly romp. Thirty-seven-year-old Katie's biological clock is ticking like a time bomb, and she turns her baby obsession into a wildly successful consultant gig planning nurseries for pregnant women too rich, clueless, bedridden, or busy to do the task themselves.
Even grieving widower Seth, who works with Katie's child-shy husband, Alex, on a demanding new business venture, needs Katie's services to help him manage his perplexing new role as a single dad. But what begins as a light foray into Bugaboo country turns into something bigger than a satire of status-obsessed Bay Area yummy mummies as Brown takes a dark look at the fears of parenthood and family, with Katie's heartbreaking longing for a child unveiling a disturbing reality about her marriage and family. Still, the message from the somber realities is one full of hope: love makes a family, commitment keeps it together."
--Publishers Weekly
Posted at 10:43 PM in A Look at Books, Amuse Bouche, Books, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Seattle always has sunshine when I come to town. Seattle readers -- and expectant moms, for whom my latest novel will surely resonate -- I hope you'll join me at my parents party for THE BABY PLANNER. Lots of raffle prizes, samples, and coupons. Here are the details:
Date: Thurs, June 2, 2011, 11am
Location: Planet Happy Toys / 2914 NE 55th Street, Seattle, 98105
Tel #: 206.729.0154
RSVP to: [email protected] or on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=206163599396291
Planet Happy Toys is throwing the ultimate parent party. Hosted by ItsaBelly-Seattle baby planner Windy Gossett to celebrate the launch of author Josie Brown’s latest novel entitled (appropriately enough) The Baby Planner (Simon & Schuster).
Brown will read from the book. Afterward Gossett will discuss tips on buying safe and non toxic baby products.
LOCAL SPONSOR: ItsaBelly, National Baby Planning & Maternity Concierge Services
THERE WILL ALSO BE GIVEAWAYS FROM:
- Sprout Organic Baby Food
- Kiwi Magazine, for Growing Families the Natural and Organic Way
- EcoStoreUSA, maker of Eco-Safe Cleansing Products
- Spiffies, maker of Infant Dental and Teething Wipes
- Organic Mother's Milk Tea, from www.TraditionalMedicinals.com
- ArtBellies.com, Making Your Work in Progress a Work of Art
- Gift bag from PrinceLionheart.com
- Maclaren Beginning Skin Care, safe non toxic!
- And a special Itsabelly gift basket, which includes:
- "Itsabelly's Guide to Going Green with Baby" book
- NoseFrida Snot Sucker
ATTENDEES WILL AUTOMATICALLY BE ENTERED INTO CONTESTS FOR:
- A set of Wonder Bumpers, the #1 doctor-recommended crib-safe bedding from http://www.GoMamaGoDesigns.com
- A gift from The Happiest Baby on the Block
- A gift from Beth Duris, Shaklee Distributor-
- A copy of The First 8 Days of Being a Mom
- A $100 gift card to their favorite bookstore, courtesy Josie Brown. The drawing will be done on 6/22/11.
AND YOU'LL RECEIVE COUPONS FROM:
- Minted Custom Invitations - The Eco Breast Pump - Beaba USA - Bloomin’ Belly Soaps
RSVP strongly Advised! We look forward to seeing you there!
"Brown (Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives) takes baby mania to its illogical, hysterical extreme in this bubbly romp...But what begins as a light foray into Bugaboo country turns into something bigger than a satire of status-obsessed Bay Area yummy mummies as Brown takes a dark look at the fears of parenthood and family, with Katie's heartbreaking longing for a child unveiling a disturbing reality about her marriage and family. Still, the message from the somber realities is one full of hope: love makes a family, commitment keeps it together." --Publishers Weekly
Posted at 06:51 PM in A Look at Books, AU CURRANT AFFAIRS, Catch Me If You Can..., Red Hot Reads!, Tome of the Mommy | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Every desperate housewife would love an alias.The heroine of my latest novel, Donna Stone has one, and it's government sanctioned. Oh sure, you need to be ruthless to take on Russian mafia bosses, rogue dictators, and terrorists set on destroying the world. But it takes real killer instincts to survive suburbia. Try juggling the fifth grade phone tree during a shootout with skinhead arms dealers, or driving carpool while being chased by Chinese double agents.
Donna’s life wasn’t always this complicated. Five years earlier she was just another woman with two preschoolers, a baby bump, and an adoring husband: Carl, with whom she lived happily ever after in a McMansion in the Orange County, California community of Hilldale. But Donna’s life was changed forever the night she delivered her baby:
Carl’s car blew up on the way to the hospital.
Turns out Carl was a “hard man”—an assassin—for the black ops organization known as Acme Industries. The hit on Alex was carried out by the Quorum, a terrorist cell he was tracking. The Quorum’s motto: “Show me the money.” Governments and corporations do as they’re told—or suffer bloody consequences.
Carl left something behind that the Quorum wants badly. To protect herself and avenge Carl’s death, Donna joined Acme. Whereas her hostessing skills rival Martha Stewart’s, her marksmanship is second to none.
A good thing, too, because the Quorum has planted a sleeper cell in Hilldale. For Donna, that’s too close for comfort. Will she be able to save her family before the Quorum blows up Los Angeles?
Acme’s way of flushing out the Quorum is by “bringing Carl back from the dead.” But terrorism makes strange bedfellows--and brings new meaning to that old adage “Honey, I’m home…”
Feel free to read an excerpt here...
Hope you love Donna as much as I loved writing about her!
Murder. Suspense. Sex.
And some handy household tips.
Signal Press - Digital eBook
ORDER NOW, from
Posted at 09:22 AM in A Look at Books, Blatant Self Promotion, Books, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Today, millions of children -- and adults -- will be honoroing their mothers in a variety of ways. Some moms will get a soggy French toast breakfast in bed and chow down on it with glee, because it's the thought that counts, not the lack of any golden brown crispness on two slices of yolk-drenched Wonder Bread. Other mothers will be treated to an overpriced brunch at a local restaurant, where they'll wave at the other moms who grace the tables around them who are also surrounded by their adoring broods.
And all mothers will be oohing and aahing over the gifts they'll receive, even if it's yet another bottle of perfume, or trio of scented soaps, or bouquet of roses.
I am a mother of two. Like other moms, I've given no clue as to what I might want on This Day To Pay Me Tribute. Call me humbled. Call me selfless--
Call me a sap! That's only fair, because I'm calling you one, too.
Why? Because all week we've had the perfect opportunity to hint around (make that, command with dire motherly overtones) as to what we really want from our kids. And as is the case with almost everything we ask of them, it's more for their benefit than for our own, even if they don't realize it at first:
We should ask them to donate to their local library.
From the moment we first held our infant children in our arms, we've only wanted the best for them. We wanted them to succeed and prosper; to be happy and healthy.
We encouraged them to be anything in life they wanted, be that teachers or bankers; firemen or gymnasts; ballplayers or doctors. Even president.
Our own lives have shown us that knowledge is power. Generations of mothers before us instilled this into us--
Even those who never had local, free public libraries.
Great societies, like ancient Egypt and Assyria (now Iraq) were built on grand libraries. Even today, with the social turmoil upending the dictatorial regimes that now rule in that part of the world, the citizens who are fighting for their freedom are also standing guard over their libraries.
So, why aren't we doing the same?
Ours are being threatened by the worst economy since the Great Depression. Just a couple of years ago it took an act of Pennsylvania's state legislature to keep the great city of Philadelphia's library system from closing its doors. Scan Google and your find article upon article about closings in communities all over the country; no, make that all over the world.
The digital leap in eBooks may be forcing a move away from paper books, but it won't quell the desire to access knowledge, in any form it may take. I have no doubt that the savvy librarians I've met throughout the country can tell you that there are many readers who don't have a couple of hundred dollars to spend on an eReader or iTablet.
History shows us that a great divide in the haves and have-nots only leads to anarchy.
Once again, it's time that the "haves" come to the rescue.
In 1889, millionaire steel magnate and philanthropist Andrew Carnegie built the first of 1,689 free public libraries in the United States. He left it to the local communities -- usually women's groups -- to fund the books that would go inside these grand buildings.
For five generations of Americans, in cities large and small, these libraries were the pride of their communities.
Where is our pride now?
Please don't point to "budget cutbacks" and "austerity plans."
Libraries are the essence of freedom. They are home to free speech and to knowledge.
They are where a free society learns to read.
Just recently I read a post from a book blogger, Courtney Webb, bemoaning the reduced hours at her local library. What jumped out at me from her plea was the name of her library system: Cobb County Public Library System.
While I now live in the San Francisco Bay Area, I spent my teen years in Cobb County. A couple of its branches -- Kennesaw, and Gritters -- were second homes to me. They fed my love of books, and my desire to write.
When my own mother was alive, one of her fondest memories of my childhood was how, as a first grader, I'd follow behind her while she mowed the lawn, reading to her. Of course over the din of the mower she couldn't hear whether I was getting every word right, but I was certainly making an effort.
Now, I'm asking you to make one, too: Give something. GIVE ANYTHING. But keep your libraries a part of your lives.
They build minds, and inspire ideas.
As history has shown us, libraries are what make civilizations great.
"Brown (Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives) takes baby mania to its illogical, hysterical extreme in this bubbly romp. Thirty-seven-year-old Katie's biological clock is ticking like a time bomb, and she turns her baby obsession into a wildly successful consultant gig planning nurseries for pregnant women too rich, clueless, bedridden, or busy to do the task themselves. Even grieving widower Seth, who works with Katie's child-shy husband, Alex, on a demanding new business venture, needs Katie's services to help him manage his perplexing new role as a single dad. But what begins as yet another vanilla chick lit foray into Bugaboo country turns into something bigger than a satire of status-obsessed Bay Area yummy mummies as Brown takes a dark look at the fears of parenthood and family, with Katie's heartbreaking longing for a child unveiling a disturbing reality about her marriage and family. Still, the message from the somber realities is one full of hope: love makes a family, commitment keeps it together." --Publishers Weekly
Posted at 12:15 PM in Baby Love, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
I'm honored to have this fabulous review in the book publishing industry's trade magazine,PUBLISHERS WEEKLY.
Brown (Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives) takes baby mania to its illogical, hysterical extreme in this bubbly romp. Thirty-seven-year-old Katie's biological clock is ticking like a time bomb, and she turns her baby obsession into a wildly successful consultant gig planning nurseries for pregnant women too rich, clueless, bedridden, or busy to do the task themselves. Even grieving widower Seth, who works with Katie's child-shy husband, Alex, on a demanding new business venture, needs Katie's services to help him manage his perplexing new role as a single dad. But what begins as yet another vanilla chick lit foray into Bugaboo country turns into something bigger than a satire of status-obsessed Bay Area yummy mummies as Brown takes a dark look at the fears of parenthood and family, with Katie's heartbreaking longing for a child unveiling a disturbing reality about her marriage and family. Still, the message from the somber realities is one full of hope: love makes a family, commitment keeps it together. (Apr. 2011)
Want to read an excerpt? Click here. You can also enter my contest, for a $100 gift card to the bookstore of your choice.
Enjoy and good luck!
I have mine, now you have a chance to have yours, too,
Posted at 10:24 AM in A Look at Books, Art from the Heart, Blatant Self Promotion, PERSONAL BEST, Red Hot Reads!, Tome of the Mommy | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Posh Spice has a bun in the oven. The big question now is if she's carrying it high, or low.
Supposedly a high baby indicates a girl. And after three boys (isn't that half a soccer team?) Mrs. Beckham deserves a little sugar in her life.
Until she knows for certain, it's anyone's guess, though. The UK Times's answer for more spilling ink (or pixels) on the subject is to drag out some old wives' tales as to how to tell a baby's gender. Okay, I'll bite. Did you know that:
1 - A high one means it's a girl. In direct correlation, a low baby bump means it's a boy.
2 - if the unborn baby's heart rate is above 140, it's a girl... if it's under that figure, it's a boy. (Scientists pooh-pooh this one).
3 - If Victoria's cravings are sweet, its girl; sour means boy. (Another one that have the medical establishment rolling in the aisles.)
4 - If David also puts on weight, a girl is on the way.
5 - If Victoria's face gets plump, it's a girl.
6 - A larger left breast means it's a girl. (Hmmmm....how would plastic surgery affect that one?)
7 - Being in New Age California, my friend Bonnie regularly dangles a mystical pendant over the mother-to-be's palm or belly, and watches its movements. If it moves back and forth, it's a boy, whereas movement round and round means a girl.
8 - If Victoria picks up a spare key from the thin end it's a girl.
9 - Finally: women have good instincts about which they're carrying. In fact, one study found that 71 per cent of mothers-to-be correctly guessed the gender of their baby.
The Hub can do better than that. Thus far he's been right 21 out of 20 times.
The birth he missed? Our daughter's, of course. He claimed he didn't see any pigtails, and that threw him off.
How about you? Have you found any old baby gender wives tales to work? If so, I'd like to hear it.
It's a girl,
(Simon & Schuster/Gallery Books)
ISBN#: 9781439197127
"I loved it! Josie Brown captures the highs and lows of love, lust and marriage with heartwrenching pathos. I'm recommending it to all my friends as the perfect beach read!"
—Lisa Rinna, actress, and author of the novel, Starlit
Order your copy today:
From Your Local Independent Bookstore
Posted at 12:57 AM in A Look at Books, Books, Celebrity Stuff, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Multnomah County (OR) Library has nine copies of SECRET LIVES OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES on its shelves, and I feel honored that it does.
It's doubly sweet to me when the library is based in one of the most environmentally awe-inspiring places on earth.
If you have not yet visited Multonomah, County, you're missing some eye candy. It is home to the spectacular falls that carry the county's name, as well as the famed Columbia River Gorge.
It is county seat is Portland, OR.
My husband and I discovered Multnomah County late this summer. After a reading in the Seattle Area, we took to the road to play there (its only a couple of hours away) because Multnomah Falls was on our bucket list.
Every drop lives up to its reputation for breathtaking beauty.
That night and the next we hung in Portland, the county seat and one of the most laid-back food-tastic cities in the country. The restaurants we tried were innovative and reasonably priced. We tried Davis Street Tavern and Clyde Common. Both: To. Die. For.
Of course, no stop in Portland is complete without also perusing the famed Powell's Bookstore. Yes, it had a few copies of SECRET LIVES OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES--among the multitude of others in its block-to-block-to-block-to-block humongous store! Not to mention its technical bookstore, and academic branch...
It was mid-September, and yes it was drizzling...but that didn't stop us from walks to the riverfront. We weren't the only one. It was also the weekend of Portland's Race for the Cure. Seeing so many pink ribbons makes your heart swell.
Portland truly is a city with a big heart,
(Simon & Schuster/Gallery Books)
ISBN#: 9781439197127
"I loved it! Josie Brown captures the highs and lows of love, lust and marriage with heartwrenching pathos. I'm recommending it to all my friends as the perfect beach read!"
—Lisa Rinna, actress, and author of the novel, Starlit
Order your copy today:
From Your Local Independent Bookstore
Posted at 08:17 PM in A Look at Books, Books, Libraries, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
My gal pal (and consumate pie lady) Kristin Isaacson has inspired me to play "Pass if Forward 2011". Here's how it works:
I promise to send something handmade -- in my case, my pies can't hold a candle to hers. Instead, I'll give one of my books (of my choosing)-- to the first five people who leave a comment. You can do that here in the comment box below, or on my Facebook Fan Page, or my Twitter page.
In return, the first five must ALSO promise to give something, to five others who comment on their posts--and it, too, has to be handmade.
Great karma, right?
I look forward to passing forward to you!
Happy 2011 for all of us,
(Simon & Schuster/Gallery Books)
ISBN#: 9781439197127
"I loved it! Josie Brown captures the highs and lows of love, lust and marriage with heartwrenching pathos. I'm recommending it to all my friends as the perfect beach read!"
—Lisa Rinna, actress, and author of the novel, Starlit
Order your copy today:
Posted at 02:18 PM in Amuse Bouche, AU CURRANT AFFAIRS, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Okay, this was the game plan:
1. Type out the name of every contestant to my Secret Santa Contest --multiple times, if they entered multiple times -- and put it in a bag.
CHECK.
2. Take the bag over to my local Barnes & Noble -- the Corte Madera, CA store, where, by the way, they still have two autographed copies of my book -- so that a bookseller there can pick the winner.
CHECK.
3. Take along our new Flip camera -- and the Hub -- so that he could video the actual event.
CHECK.
4. Invite one of the booksellers to do the actual drawing.
Okay, that's where the plan went off the rails.
Like, who knew B&N had a corporate policy that (a) you can't video their booksellers, or (b) use their names, or even (c) photograph them?
However, the bookseller was kind enough to participate in the drawing, and for that we thank her.
And the name she yanked out of the hat?
Melissa A.
So, yes, Melissa, there IS a Santa-- with a gift card to your favorite bookstore!
I'll email you for your deets.
To the other contestants, I want to say thank you for letting me know how much you enjoyed the excerpt. I hope the book was on your holiday gift list. If so, and you've got other gift cards to use, here's a list of stores around the country, where you may still find signed copies of SECRET LIVES OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES.
Here's to a happy and healthy 2011,
Josie's Latest Book: Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives
(ISBN: 9781439173176)
In bookstores June 1, 2010. Order it TODAY!
"Hollywood's got nothing on the cast of characters living in the bedroom community of Paradise Heights, who have the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Josie Brown is a skilled observer whose clever dialogue and feisty style make for truly entertaining reading." --Jackie Collins, Hollywood Wives
Posted at 07:29 PM in A Look at Books, Amuse Bouche, And the Winner Is..., Blatant Self Promotion, Books, Contests, Contests and Other Fun Stuff!, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
The best thing about the holidays is giving, not getting. I feel very blessed this year. One way in which I plan to give back is to play Secret Santa for one lucky reader. The prize: a $50 gift card to the book store of your choice.
Here's how it works:
1. Read this excerpt of my latest novel, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives. The set-up: a holiday potluck at the local country club of my heroine, Lyssa Harper. She's befriended Harry Wilder, a recently separated stay-at-home father, to the consternation--make that envy--of the women who were once her closest friends: Brooke, Tammy, Margot, and Colleen.
After you read the excerpt, below, everything you do, also listed here, gives you yet another chance to win this gift. For example, you can:
2. Comment below about one character, and how his/her actions made you, smile, laugh, cry, or shake your head in wonder. (earns you 1 chance)
3. Post about my Secret Santa Contest on your Facebook page, this way (1 chance per post, per day):
Want a chance to win a $50 giftcard to your favorite bookstore? Just enter @Josie Brown's Secret Santa Contest: http://bit.ly/fK1Uy3
4. Post about my Secret Santa Contest on your Twitter page, this way (1 chance per post, per day):
Want a chance to win a $50 giftcard to your favorite bookstore? Just enter @JosieBrownCA's Secret Santa Contest: http://bit.ly/fK1Uy3
5. Friend me on my Facebook Fan Page (1 chance)
6. Friend me on my Twitter Page (1 chance)
7. Blog about it! (2 chances)
I'll be keeping a running list of all entrants, here, and updated every evening by Midnight PT of Christmas Day, December 25, 2010, when the contest ends. The winning entry will be chosen out of a Santa hat, by one of my favorite booksellers, sometime on December 26th. That person's nickname will be posted here, and on the Entrants page.
Good luck, and have a happy merry holiday!
--Josie
(ISBN: 9781439173176)
In bookstores June 1, 2010. Order it TODAY!
"Hollywood's got nothing on the cast of characters living in the bedroom community of Paradise Heights, who have the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Josie Brown is a skilled observer whose clever dialogue and feisty style make for truly entertaining reading." --Jackie Collins, Hollywood Wives
____________________________________________________________
EXCERPT:
The clubhouse is buzzing with polite laughter and forced cheer. Everyone is there, even the Undesirables. What better way to elicit envy than to open the red velvet rope to the wannabes every now and then?
Crammed onto the tables lining the center of the room are a myriad of leftovers, which are more than the sum total of a few carefully chosen, specifically measured ingredients. While these dishes are served up with pride, they are also leavened with memories both fond and wince-worthy.
I speak for myself. Yesterday left a bittersweet taste in my mouth.
I’m only here to eat up time until Ted and I can talk things out later this evening. Does he have reason to be jealous? Not on Harry’s account. I appreciate Harry’s friendship, and I know this feeling is reciprocated. But let’s face facts: he has never come onto me.
Okay, yeah, I’ll admit it. That disappoints me. It’s not that I’m looking for an affair. I wouldn’t trade the friendship and respect Harry and I share now for that. . .
But hell, if Ted is going to accuse me of it anyway —
Not to mention Tammy and the others on the Heights Women’s League Board.
Just what the hell are they staring at, anyway? Seems they can’t keep their eyes off us.
But of course not. Because they want validation that what they suspect is true.
This is why they assess—make that obsess—over every move we make.
They take note of the way in which Harry hovers over me protectively. How his asides are addressed to me alone. How he scans my face appreciatively.
Then they wait for my reaction. I’m fully aware that, if I dare lean into him, eyebrows will be raised. If, involuntarily, I laugh out loud, they’ll poke each other knowingly. And heaven forefend I should allow my eyes to meet his! If that happened, rumors would race through the room almost as quickly as the children here, who are hopped up on soda, pie and ice cream.
“Hey, you haven’t heard a word I’ve said, have you?” Harry says this as if it were a joke, but the sadness in his eyes is proof he knows he’s right.
“Sure I have. You were—something about . . .Okay, sorry, I give up.” I force a smile onto my lips.
“If I’m boring you, feel free to play with your girlfriends. I won’t be jealous.” He flashes a knowing smile, but I reel in my tendency to punch him in the arm for it. Instead I shake my head. Anything more obvious will give them reason to presume they’re onto something:
That what we have is more than just wishful thinking on their parts.
And on mine.
“Go up to Margot and her court? Thanks, smart ass, but I’ll pass on the honor.” Oddly, that thought is liberating.
“Eventually you’ll have to say something. In a month’s time you’ll be their new queen. Won’t it help if you cozy up to Margot?”
“You know, I could say the same to you. Shouldn’t you two kiss and make up?”
He derisive guffaw has them all aflutter. “The price is too high.”
Yeah, well I feel the same way.
“Hey, wait here I’m going to see if I can take care of this stain.” I head off to the lavatory, but when I get there, I find the door locked. I hear a weird pounding on the other side, so I wait a few minutes before knocking again.
Finally it opens. Masha Shriver struts out. Her crass brass locks flares out from her head, like Medusa’s snakes gone wild. Her winter white dress defies gravity. It’s strapless and boasts a neckline that plunges below her navel. Considering the amount of rain we’ve been getting, her deep tan is unexpected, not to mention unusual in color. (For the record, I am of the opinion that bruised papaya is not a good look.)
Masha is not alone. Despite his guilty look, I recognize the man who is still zipping up his pants as he maneuvers past me as one of our friendly neighborhood bankers.
Apparently the Shrivers’ account is paying off with some unexpected dividends.
“Oh . . . I’m sorry. I just needed to . . . You’re Masha, right? I’m Lyssa. I’m a friend of Pete’s.” At a loss for what to do next, I stick out my hand.
Very awkward. Pete’s name does not elicit the response I’d expected. Instead she glares at me, as if I’ve just cursed her firstborn. (Despite the hickey Tanner received the night of the poker game compliments of her daughter Natassia, I don’t feel that would be necessary. It was bound to happen sooner or later.)
“Pete? Ah, LYZZA. Yez, I know of yooouuu!” I don’t know if it’s her Slavic accent that has her slurring her words, or her vodka intake, but I’m willing to guess the latter. The fumes from her breath have me reeling. As she grabs me by the shoulders with both hands and hugs me to her chest, she whispers in my ear: “Streep poker, yez? Not to worry. I not mad. You see, I have ’hobby,’ too! But, hey, not one verd to my Pete, dah?” She pushes me away.
I stumble into the bathroom, bruised from where she held my shoulders. I’m sure I have two contusions on my chest that match whatever nipple armor she’s bearing.
I’ve been marked in another way, too: Thanks to Masha’s spray-on tan, my brand new sweater has been tagged with her fingerprints and a faint V that matches her neckline.
“Damn it! Damn it!” The soup has already dried into a dark, impenetrable shadow, while dabbing at the new stains only spread them into a treacly Orangina.
My new outfit is ruined. Would it help if I bang my head against the wall? Nah. But if I’d die, they’d have an obvious clue for a murder suspect.
Then there’s the issue about Pete. He is a buddy after all. If he were a girlfriend, of course I’d speak up. But what is the mancode about such things?
Harry knows the code. And since I don’t need any more enigmas in my life, tag he’s it.
I find Harry chatting up Biker Mom. When he sees me, he waves me over. Instinctively I glance around to see if Brooke is anywhere around. Oh great, she’s glaring at him from across the room. Between this and my most recent introduction to a supposedly friendly face, I don’t need to a frantic call later from Brooke, calling me a traitor.
Seeing my concern, Harry excuses himself and casually meanders over. “What, you’re not into making new friends?” As he plucks a cookie off a dessert tray, he does a doubletake at the new stains on my sweater. “She promised me a ride in her Maseratti. I was going to ask if you could tag along, but now I don’t know. I mean, what if you stain her seats?”
“Forget the joy ride, Andretti. We have bigger fish to fry. I just caught Masha in the lady’s room with First National Bank of Paradise Heights.” I tilt my head in the direction of Masha’s boyfriend, who is scurrying after her into the clubhouse’s coatroom. Even from where I’m standing I can see a large orange streak on his sweater. He is a marked man. “What’s the protocol? Do we tell Pete?”
“Jesus.” Harry closes his eyes for a moment. And shakes his head. “Yeah, well, I’d want to know. Wouldn’t you?”
“Of course!” Harry was right. Yesterday’s tiff with Ted now seems silly. I can’t wait for him to come home.
Harry tosses the last crumb of cookie into his mouth and wipes his hands. “Well, when you tell him, be gentle—”
“Whoa, whoa, wait . . . who, me? Think again, slick. You’re his closest friend.”
Harry groans. “If I remember correctly, that was your doing.” It takes a while, but he nods. “Okay, but I don’t think this is the time or the place.”
“I leave it to your discretion.” I give him a thumbs-up. “Oh great, Brooke is coming over, I guess to call you a traitor.”
He laughs. “Is that better or worse than an Undesirable? I forget.”
“In your case, it’s one and the same.” I glance around the room for our salvation. It comes in the form of Cal, who is standing uncomfortably beside Bev. True to form, Bev is oblivious to this. She has trapped the Emersons in a corner. No doubt she’s giving them a pitch about a house she knows would be perfect for them, now that they’re pregnant again and will need the extra space.
“Why don’t we save Cal instead? The girls are downright afraid of him, so that should keep them away for while.”
Immediately I move in, tapping Bev lightly on the shoulder. “Hi, Bev! I just want to thank you for putting in that call to the Heights Market regarding the Food Drive. It’s what made the drive an over-the-top success.”
As Bev turns to me to say something, the Emersons see their opportunity and scurry away. I see by the look in her eyes that she’s is tempted to run after them, but realizes this is bad form, even for her. “Oh yeah, hi, Lyssa! Glad I could be of some help. Really, it was Calvin’s idea, but hey, all in the family, right?”
“You know Harry Wilder, right?” I move to the side so that Harry can shake her hand.
“Yes! I mean, of course I know of you—” She looks at him curiously. “—Well, about the . . . you know–”
"My poker games? I hope Cal attending doesn’t interfere –”
“Cal? Oh, yes! Not at all! So sweet of you to have him over! But what I meant is that, with the way the divorce is going and all, you’ll probably need this—”
She pulls out a refrigerator magnet. On it is her profile and name, with that patented Bev Bullworth slogan: Great Service, No Bull—
Harry stares down at it. “Thanks . . .I guess.”
“It’s so you’ll remember to call me! You know, when you’re ready to buy your condo.” She expresses just right amount of sympathy. “Cal tells me you’ll want to stay in the neighborhood and keep commuting in, so that you can be close to the kids. You know, one of those new units they’ve built off Main have come available. It isn’t so roomy, granted. But the HOA is very small—”
“Why would I want a condo? I already have a house.” He glares at Cal, who backs away from Bev, horrified. Whatever hole she’s digging for herself, he is not going to jump into it with her.
“Yes, but not for long. You know how these things usually go. DeeDee’s got the natural edge—”
“Is that what you think? That, just because she’s the woman, she’s a better mother than I am a father?”
“Well . . . I . . . No, of course not!” Bev’s backpedalling is insincere despite her cheeriness. “But it never hurts to be prepared, right? Eventually, when the court rules on the situation, you’ll have to give up the ghost—”
I put my hand on Harry’s arm so that he remembers where he is, but he shrugs it off. I’m too late anyway. Slackened jaws, including many stuffed with leftovers, hang open as everyone tunes in on our little drama. Margot smiles triumphantly. To her mind, Harry’s comeuppance–at the hand of Bev Bullworth, no less!—is just dessert.
“Thanks for your concern.” Harry’s words are brittle and empty. “But do me a favor and give it a break, at least until the court ruling. Better yet, here–” He hands her back her magnet. “Save it for the next time you see DeeDee.”
Before she can say anything else, Harry walks off in the direction of the front door. I follow him out, as does Cal.
“Wait, Harry! Look . . .I’m sorry Bev said all those stupid things.” Cal hangs his head. “Sometimes she speaks before she thinks.”
“She’s just parroting back the party line around here.” Harry shrugs. “Ah, shit, here comes Pete. I guess we should tell him about Tanner’s and Jake’s suspensions.” Harry shifts uneasily, but waves our friend over anyway. “Do you want to do the honors, or shall I?”
“By that long face, maybe he already knows.”
I’m poise to verify this, but Pete brushes me aside. “Anyone seen Masha?”
Harry gives me a warning nudge. He doesn’t have to worry. Since I’ll have to break the news about Tanner and Jake’s tomfoolery, the last thing I’m going to mention is Masha’s, too.
“Damn! She asked me to go home and get her sweater because she felt a chill. I guess she forgot her coat is right here, in the coatroom.” He rushes off down the hall.
Harry and I look at each other, then take off after him, with Cal trailing after us.
But we’re too late. We get there just in time to see him freeze over his wife, who is in a love tussle with the guy who doles out the cash from his trust fund.
In a flash he yanks Masha’s boyfriend up by his hair. What comes off in his hand has Pete turning white. Those who suspected BofPH sports a toupee can now collect on their bets.
Livid, the guy flails back at Pete. Unfortunately for him Pete’s daily workouts give him a leg up. Pete’s lip may be split, but it’s BofPH’s nose that’s pushed out of joint.
Cal and I brace for what Pete might have in store for Masha as he lifts her, naked, out of the coat nest she and her lover made on the floor. Seeing her that way only confirms what I suspected since our run-in: yep, she does indeed have an all-over tan.
At this point a good smack won’t make up for my stained sweater, but I have to admit it would give me some satisfaction. Instead, Pete cradles his wife in his arms. “Did he hurt you? I swear, if he did—”
She shrugs, but the look on her face reflects what we’re all thinking:
You poor, pathetic, fool.
Closing the door behind us, Harry shakes his head in disbelief. “Unbelievable! Now, that’s what I call ’denial.’ Doesn’t he see what’s happening?”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to say “No, because he doesn’t want to” but I keep quiet. What’s the point? I’m guessing we’ve all been there at one time or another.
Even Harry.
Especially Harry.
__________________________________________
Excerpted from Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives by Josie Brown.
Copyright © 2010 by Josie Brown. Published in June 2010 by Simon & Schuster/Downtown Press. All rights reserved. This work is protected under copyright laws and reproduction is strictly prohibited. Permission to reproduce the material in any manner or medium must be secured from the Publisher.
Posted at 11:44 AM in A Look at Books, And the Winner Is..., Books, Contests, Contests and Other Fun Stuff!, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (84) | TrackBack (0)
I love Halloween. When my kids were younger, one of the thrills of living right off Caledonia Street in Sausalito, California, was that you were at Ground Zero for the town's trick or treat chicanery. The evening would start with a parade of li'l ghosts, goblins and costumes-du-jour, a costume judging contest, and then a promenade through the grid of streets that flank Caledonia Street before snaking up into the hills of Sausalito's weather-blessed banana belt.
Our street, Locust, was only one long block, filled with small cottages, or duplexes, some on flag lots. We lived there for almost six years. Except for us, the Pierracinnis next door, and one other family, most of those living on Locust were inhabited by people whose children had left the next, or house-sharing young adult renters, so they didn't necessarily see the need for decorating their homes for the occasion, let alone handing out candy.
On the other hand, one street over -- Turney -- was Halloween heaven. Everyone put out carved pumpkins. Some went overboard, decorating this beautiful street of Victorians with the haute of haunted house accessories. One guy went so far as to deck out his garage as Transylvania, an jump out of a coffin as a vampire. As yo ucan imagine, the line went around the block to enter his freak show.
Not to be outdone, Martin and I would create a diarama by putting scary full-head masks on the heads of a couple of scarecrows made by stuffing old pants and plaid shirts with plastic bags filled with newspapers. We'd then pose them on a couple of chairs on the porch. They'd be reading THE SIGNAL, the newspaper edited by Martin. Scary music would be emanating from loud speakers perched on the window sills. Coffins of political candidates were in our postage stamp of a yard, underneath the camellia bushes that were so large that they were pruned into trees. Usually a body hung there in effigy.
All in good fun.
So many trick-or-treaters stopped by that we'd go through 500 pieces of candy before nine o'clock. I have to admit that I'd make the kids go through their candy sacks and kick back anything they felt they wouldn't eat, so I could feed the angry mob seemed to never end.
By the time we left Locust Street, I'm happy to report all the neighbors were into decorating on Halloween. Maybe they saw how much fun we'd had, and wanted to get into the act. Or maybe they were tired of Turney being the go-to street, and wanted to show some street pride.
Besides, how do you stop a swarm of trick-or-treaters?
You don't. You just go with the flow.
When I concepted my book, SECRET LIVES OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES, the one thing I knew for sure was that I was going to start the story on Halloween. Not because the book is scary--although its topic, divorce, is a horror tale for those who live through one--but because, to me, it is one of the ultimate family experiences. By their nature, children love to play dress up. Halloween celebrates that, and parents celebrate any and all things that make thier kids happy and excited--even if it is induced by sugar. Just think of all the pictures we take of them as they go from toddler to teen--or I should say, from cute costume onesies, to some 'ho couture that even Lady Gaga would be too shy to wear (as if).
Yes, a perfect place to start a book about a family--husband, wife, thirteen-year-old boy and five year-old girl--who mask their emotions during the divorce, and their neighbors' fears that their personal failures are somehow contagious.
Enjoy the excerpt, below.
Happy Halloween,
Josie's Latest Book: Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives
(ISBN: 9781439173176)
In bookstores June 1, 2010. Order it TODAY!
"Hollywood's got nothing on the cast of characters living in the bedroom community of Paradise Heights, who have the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Josie Brown is a skilled observer whose clever dialogue and feisty style make for truly entertaining reading." --Jackie Collins, Hollywood Wives
Order today:
From Your Local Independent Bookstore
SECRET LIVES OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES / by Josie Brown
Chapter 1
“Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.” —Zsa Zsa Gabor
Thursday, 7: 32 p.m.
“You know how I hate to gossip, but . . .”
That is how Brooke Bartholomew always begins before she launches into a piece of hearsay. She knows and I know (for that matter, everyone knows) that she is the most notorious gossipmonger in our gated community of Paradise Heights.
So, yes, this will be juicy.
“Don’t be such a tease,” I answer. “Just spill it.”
“It’s about DeeDee and Harry Wilder,” she whispers. “They’ve split up. For good!”
Her tone has me looking around to see if the leads in Brooke’s drama are within hearing distance. But it’s hard to tell because it is dark, and everyone, even the adults, is in costume. Witches, Harry Potters, Shreks, and vampires zigzag across Bougainvillea Boulevard, lugging king-size 300-count pima cotton pillowcases filled with all kinds of individually wrapped miniature candy bars. For Brooke, it is not just Halloween but Christmas too: her husband, Benjamin, is Paradise Heights’s dentist and will reap what Hershey’s has sown.
I check to see that my daughter, Olivia, is out of earshot but still within sight. To my chagrin, she and her posse of five-year-olds are racing up the circular staircase of the Hendricksons’ New Orleans‑style McMansion. All the girls are dressed as fairies, which in HalloweeSpeak translates into gossamer wings and long tulle skirts over leotards. It is inevitable that one of them will slip, fall, and cry, so I cannot take my eyes off them, even to gauge the veracity of Brooke’s raw data. For the first time tonight I notice that Temple, DeeDee and Harry’s youngest, is not one of the winged creatures flittering in the crush in front of me.
The nickname given the Wilders by my very own clique, the board of the Paradise Heights Women’s League, comes to mind: the Perfect Couple. Until now, it fit like a glove. Both DeeDee and Harry are tall, golden, patrician, and aloof. They are Barbie and Ken dolls come to life. Rounding out the family is their thirteen-year-old son, Jake, the star of the Paradise Heights Middle School basketball team. Our oldest boy, Tanner, is part of his entourage, as is Brooke’s son, Marcus. Temple is exactly Olivia’s age. With those gilt coiling ringlets and that dimpled smile, Temple is not just the kindergarten set’s unabashed leader but beautiful as well, which is why all the other little girls aspire to be her.
While the Wilders seem friendly enough during the social gatherings that put them in close proximity to the rest of us mere mortals, they never engage, let alone mingle. In Harry’s case, I presume he thinks his real life—that is, his office life—is too foreign for us to grasp: he is a senior partner in the international securities division of a large law firm, where every deal trails a long tail of zeros.
But DeeDee has no such excuse. She doesn’t work, yet she pointedly ignores our invitations to lunch, preferring to spend the precious hours between school drop-off and pickup gliding through the posh little shops on Paradise Heights’s bustling Main Street. Heck, even the Heights’ working mommies try harder to fit in. The overflow crowd at the Women’s League Christmas party is proof of that, as are the numerous corporate sponsorships they secure for the school district’s annual golf tournament fund-raiser.
Proving yet again that mommy guilt is the greatest of all human motivators.
And now that the Wilders’ crisis has been exposed to the masses, DeeDee’s force field will stay up permanently, for sure.
“No way! The Wilders?” I say to Brooke. “Why, I just saw them together last weekend, at the club. He didn’t leave her side even once. And I know for a fact that DeeDee was at the school yesterday, for the Halloween costume contest.” Although I wasn’t there, Ted, my husband, mentioned seeing her. I stayed home with our younger son, Mickey, who has a nasty case of head lice, the scourge of the elementary school set. Not fun at any time, but doubly distressing to a nine-year-old boy on a day in which all class work is suspended in honor of a candy orgy.
To get his mind off what he was missing, Mickey and I spent the morning carving two more pumpkins to join the family of five already displayed on our steps and spraying a spiderweb of Silly String on the porch banister. Ted, who is too fastidious to have appreciated our haphazard handiwork, has elicited promises from us both that all of this sticky substance will be pulled off first thing tomorrow morning, before it has time to erode the nice new paint job on our faux-Victorian.
Now, as I keep watch over Olivia’s raid on the neighbors’ candy stashes, Ted is at home with Mickey, parsimoniously doling out mini Mounds bars. Despite having purchased forty bags of the stuff, neither of us will be surprised if we run out long before the last trick-or-treater has come and gone. That is the downside to having a house that is smack-dab in the middle of Bougainvillea Boulevard, where all things pertaining to Paradise Heights begin and end. Because of this, poor Mickey will have to share whatever goodies Tanner and Olivia bring home. I don’t look forward to the fight that breaks out over who gets the Godiva candy bar and who is left with the smashed caramel apple.
“Yeah, well, apparently it happened yesterday morning. From what I heard, he came home early from work so that he wouldn’t miss the Halloween parade—and found her in bed with another man.” Brooke waves her little hellion, Benjamin Jr., on toward his older brother, Marcus, who has been trying all night to ditch the kid. Having been an only child, Brooke cannot accept the notion that a thirteen-year-old wouldn’t want to hang with his only sibling, especially one seven years his junior.
Frankly, I think all of Brooke’s energy would have been better spent on some therapy over her own traumas. “My god! That’s horrible! Do you think it’s for real?”
“Who knows? For that matter, who cares?” Brooke arches a cleanly plucked brow. “Anyway that’s the rumor, and it’s too good not to be true, so I’m sticking with it. Besides, Colleen was behind Harry in line at Starbucks. She overheard him bickering with DeeDee on his cell. Seems she’s asked for a divorce, but he’s fighting her for everything: the kids, the house—even the dog! In fact, he also told one of his partners that he planned back cut back his hours at work to prove he should be the one to get full custody. Look, I say ’where there’s smoke, there’s fire.’”
And they say that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? Bullshit. What guy wouldn’t go for the throat, particularly one who’s just been made a laughingstock in the neighborhood?
Frankly, I can’t really blame him, since I’d do exactly the same thing. Still, I wonder what he’ll do if he does get it all. I’m of the theory that househusbands are born, not made. And they are certainly not made from high-powered corporate attorneys like Harry Wilder, who live for the thrill of the deal.
But I don’t say this to Brooke, who wears her sistah solidarity on her silk Cavalli sleeve. If what she says is true, then there is no reason to feel sorry for DeeDee in the first place. Harry is the one we should pity, since he has no idea what he’s in for. I’m willing to bet he’ll reconsider his stance the first time Jake needs to be carpooled to basketball at the same time Temple has to be at ballet and it’s not until they are halfway there that she tells him she’s forgotten her tights.
“So, who is DeeDee’s boyfriend?”
Frustrated because her reconnaissance is incomplete in this one very important area, Brooke’s perfect moue of a mouth turns down at the sides. This is what passes for a frown when your social calendar revolves around standing appointments for Botox and collagen injections. “Since neither of them is talking, your guess is as good as mine. But don’t worry, I’ve got my spies working on it.” She winks broadly.
That trail might be cold right now, but she is a good enough gossip hound that I’ve no doubt we’ll know the answer by the end of the week.
As we pass DeeDee and Harry’s authentic-looking Tuscan villa, I notice that all the lights are off and the bougainvillea-wrapped wrought-iron gates are locked. The Wilders did not even leave out the requisite consolation: a plastic pumpkin filled with candy and sporting a sign that begs visitors to Take Just One and Leave The Rest for Others.
Once again, Brooke is right: there is trouble in Paradise Heights.
(c) 2010 Josie Brown. Published in June 2010 by Simon & Schuster/Downtown Press. All rights reserved. This work is protected under copyright laws and reproduction is strictly prohibited. Permission to reproduce the material in any manner or medium must be secured from the Publisher.
Posted at 12:45 PM in A Look at Books, Blatant Self Promotion, Books, I've Got Some Red Hot Reads for You, PERSONAL BEST, Red Hot Reads! | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
While Googling myself (Hey, 'fess up! You do it, too!) I came up with this article, in LiveWires.com, dated April 3, 2009. In it, I was asked: "How do you see the world changing from a writer’s point of view?"
My answer is below.
Do I still feel it hits the mark? Hell yeah. In a nutshell, my two cents: as online distribution of digitial books grow, the roles of publishers, agents, and book retailers will have to change, in order for these functions to survive. I the article, I give my suggestionsas to how these change will benefit authors.
Warp speed, Scotty: has anything changed in the year and a half that's passed, to validate my predictions?
Nah. But then again, we all know that the book publishing industry moves as slow as a Ferengi returning a lost wallet. I hope that doesn't get lost in translation.
I'm givin' it all I got, Cap'n,
(ISBN: 9781439173176)
In bookstores June 1, 2010. Order it TODAY!
"Hollywood's got nothing on the cast of characters living in the bedroom community of Paradise Heights, who have the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Josie Brown is a skilled observer whose clever dialogue and feisty style make for truly entertaining reading." --Jackie Collins, Hollywood Wives
JOSIE BROWN ANSWERS OUR QUESTION
We are asking a few author friends a question: How do you see the world changing from a writer’s point of view?
Here is Josie Brown’s answer -
“The literary world is beginning to look a lot like the music and entertainment industries, at least as it pertains to the future distribution of its products: online sales and downloads, as opposed to instore CDs and vinyl (music industry), DVDs (film/TV entertainment), or paper (book industry.)
As technology moves by leaps and bounds, all these media are struggling to establish a viable revenue model that fairly compensates those who create the product (writers, musicians, directors) and those who bring it to market.
That said, short of having your book written on Charmin toilet paper, I’m guessing most authors will welcome any and all new media that allows their stories to reach new and or loyal fans–
That is, if the fair compensation model can be upheld.
Aye, there’s the rub.
The advantage to technology is also its Achille’s Heel: pirating copywritten material is very easy to do when it’s put online. The Google lawsuit and settlement opened up a Pandora’s box of legal issues that we all will be struggling with for quite some time,
The current compensation model used by the original eBook publishers is as follows:
(1) to attract readers, offer books for a price cheaper than printed ones. This was something they’re able to do since they don’t have printing expenses. And because eBook publishers sell primarily online and promoted their books there as well, they have no shipping expenses, retail discounts, or returns: all of which gouge a publisher’s return on his investment .
(2) To entice authors, pay higher royalty rates: 40-50%, as opposed to the print standard of 8-15%, depending on formats and formulas–albeit small or no advance. (“We’re all in this together, right? And besides, since New York won’t publish you, we’re your BFF….”)
(3) Pay authors on a monthly basis, as opposed to twice a year. (That’s the real advantage to the digital era.)
Now that eBooks are predicted to be the norm as opposed to the anomaly, traditional print publishers are seriously reconsidering the eBook’s role in their business model. However, this sea change change in product distribution will affect print publishers’ role in an even more profound way:
They will no longer serve as the gatekeepers of what is printed. Their role will shift to that of brand manager: that is build, promote, and manage the brands of their authors their books, both the front and the backlist.
Ideally, promotion will begin much earlier – perhaps even the minute the book’s contract has been signed – and continue much longer than 60 days beyond the launch date. This is a model used in both the music and entertainment industries (both of which have much more expensive production costs) – so why not for books?
(Oooooh…..sorry! I got tingles just THINKING about this!)
And much of this promotion will happen online as well – because much of the traditional media previously used to promote books – newspaper reviews and magazine excerpts – is also disappearing.
Or going online.
An promotionally aggressive media-savvy author can use this to his/her advantage. Blogging daily and uploading content to your blog that entices daily visits from your fans, utilizing social networks to reach out to them, offering contests and excerpts, posting events – all of these marketing endeavors define your voice and your brand.
And in partnership with a publishing house which see you as a viable brand and treats you as one, this brave new world will be a great place to sell our books.”