Author Provocateur

May 2012 be the year of the (Ryan) Gosling.

As if 2011 wasn't?

Three high-profile, well received movies in one year (four, if you remember that Blue Valentine was a limited release last Christmas) and another three on the way--

Can it by the year of the Gosling, two years in a row?

Of all the young turks in film today, Ryan Gosling has the depth and breadth and height (at 6'1")  that merits a long-lived and celebrated career.

He is 3D cinematic star power, no CGI needed.

If you wanted to see a man who can lose a woman because he loves her too much, and for all the wrong reasons, as he did in Blue Valentine, go to Gosling.

If you want a tough guy with a soft center who can make a movie so much more than mayhem and violence like Drive might have been without him, go to Gosling.

If you want an actor who embodies a player like the one he played in Crazy, Stupid Love, but then can turn the role on its head by showing that he lost his soul when he broke his heart, go to Gosling.

If you want a guy who can play a cocky political operative yet be ethical and still be believable, as he was in Ides of March--AND hold his own against George Clooney--

You got it: go to Gosling.

Yup. Time to change the Chinese calendar.

I would so enjoy looking down onto a placemat with that face on it.

Yum yum yum,

-- Josie

 

 Read an excerpt of
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK 
 Today, on

      

My relationship advice to newlyweds Katy Perry and Russell Brand

Omigod! Who'd have thunk it? Pop tart Katy Perry and comedian Russell Brand went out and got married!

I guess my invitation got lost in the mail.

That's okay. I probably would have gotten lost on the way there, anyway. My cell phone is too old for any GPA app, let alone one that shows some Aman-i-khas resort on the edge of the Rajasthani nature reserve.

Besides, I thoroughly understand it was a small, intimate affair: just those two crazy kids, 85 of their closest friends and family, a Hindu guru,a Christian minister, two elephants named Laxmi and Mala ("Mala is a bit skittish and hates crowds but she managed to behave herself," a source told PEOPLE), a fortune-telling parrot--

Oh yeah: and a tiger that, supposedly, has already killed three people.

I still have a wedding gift for them: a few ground rules for ensuring that their union will be one that lasts forever. Usually I'd give it to them face-to-face (you know, these things are personal) but since I wasn't invited on the honeymoon either, they'll have to read it here:

• 1. Never go to bed angry. Talk things out first. Then do go to bed. Together. And without the parrot.
• 2. Don't flirt with others. For Katy, that means no more kissing girls. For Russell, that means no more kissing every other girl, as he learned in sex addiction rehab. For both of them, that means no more kissing the mirror.
• 3. Don't let your differences get in the way of a good thing. You came from such dissimilar backgrounds. With that comes some heavy baggage. Don't empty it on your spouse when you get scared that things aren't as perfect as you had hoped they'd be.
• 4. Don't buy into the gossip. Professionally, you are both on top now. That says something about your strength of fortitude, and your ability to achieve your goals. Well, a happy marriage is a goal, too. Don't let the crap you read in the tabloids put it in a tailspin. Just keep trusting and talking.
• 5. Don't let others get between you. This means fans, publicists, agents, managers and anyone else who wants you to believe that what you have together isn't anything more than a publicity stunt. Prove them all wrong. If not for yourselves, then for the rest of us.

 I've got a premonition about these things: this one's gonna last.

But if it doesn't, I presume I'll be invited to Katy's divorce party. If so, my gift to her will be a little more expansive, and, I'm sure, much appreciated: a copy of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Finding Mr. Right. 

To use Russell's parlance, it's my very own booky wook.

 Tah dah,

--Josie

 Josie's Latest Book: Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives
Simon & Schuster/Downtown Press

(ISBN: 9781439173176)

In bookstores June 1, 2010. Order it TODAY!

"Hollywood's got nothing on the cast of characters living in the bedroom community of Paradise Heights, who have the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Josie Brown is a skilled observer whose clever dialogue and feisty style make for truly entertaining reading." --Jackie Collins, Hollywood Wives

 

 

I KNOW I love you, Allison Pearson

We all have our favorite authors. One of mine happens to be the British columnist, Allison Pearson, who, in 2002, wrote the penultimate way-we-everywomen-live-now novel, I Don't Know How She Does It. 

If you haven't read it, well shame on you. It is a witty, subversive book in which the heroine, Kate, is, by all societal measures, "has it all": a high-falutin' job in international finance, a loving husband who's willing to pick up the slack whenever she has to fly around the world to cut a deal, children who only want more of their loving mom at their side--

And yet...and yet... she knows something is missing from her life . . .

Ah, yes: balance.

Perhaps that would allow her to appreciate her guy both in and out of the sack; and to be there for her kids; and to quit all those dirty little political one-ups-manship games we play at work in order to appease inconsiderate bosses who play favorites and forget all we've done for them.

A textfest with an American client tempts Kate to stray. But Pearson's heroine is no Madame Bovary. Suffice it to say that I Don't Know How She Does It is a book you won't be able to put down--

And it will leave you asking the same question I did, eight years ago: "What's next, Allison?"

Floating around Facebook one day, I found my answer. Allison has a fan page there. Lo and behold, her second novel came out recently, in England. Called I THINK I LOVE YOU, it chronicles the tale of a woman whose life has been less than she'd hoped--all because of a missed opportunity involving her teen crush on the pop singer, David Cassidy.

In other words, Allison's new book channels my youth.

Okay, yeah, I'll admit it: I too papered the walls of my bedroom with pages from Tiger Beat that bore David's dimpled smile.

  There on Facebook, someone else, also from the US, commented that they'd just discovered I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT, and had tremendously enjoyed it. I ditto'd that--and bemoaned the fact that I THINK I LOVE YOU would not be released here in the States until February 2011.

Low and behold, a few days later I got a sweet message from Allison, offering to send me an copy of the book from her personal stash.

It arrived on Friday, and I can't wait to dig in.

As it happens, I did a library fundraiser last week with Jane Smiley, Joshilyn Jackson, Tatjana Soli and Eileen Goudge. During dinner, Jane casually asked what we were reading. I'm in the middle of Tatjana's book, THE LOTUS EATERS, which has gotten rave reviews. Then I added (a bit guiltily, because it seems that "serious" books are bandied about more than those that make us laugh) "--and I'll soon have Allison Pearson's latest. It's not released here, but she's sending me a copy. I so loved her first book."

"Oh, yes, 'I Don't Know How She Does It'. I liked it too," said Jane.

"I don't know her," Joshilyn responded.

Both Jane and I strongly recommended Allison's novel. The discussion then shifted to why funny books get overlooked for awards and accolades (shades of Franzenfruede!), and other female British authors who write with a satiric wit, like Nancy Mitford. Joshilyn named another whose name I now forget, but she sounded like an excellent read. (Joss: please email it to me, so that I may look her up!)

Allison, you'll be happy to know you're in good company.

I don't know how she does it, but I'm glad she does,

--Josie

Josie's Latest Book: Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives

Simon & Schuster/Downtown Press

(ISBN: 9781439173176)

In bookstores June 1, 2010. Order it TODAY!

"Hollywood's got nothing on the cast of characters living in the bedroom community of Paradise Heights, who have the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Josie Brown is a skilled observer whose clever dialogue and feisty style make for truly entertaining reading." --Jackie Collins, Hollywood Wives

Libraries get creative to gain your support.

Forget the cabbage patch. I'm sure I was born  between the stacks of the Decatur (GA) Public Library. It was a great place for a prodigious reader such as myself to read, dream and learn.

I still make my home in my in my local library system -- Marin County. It's where I conduct the research for my books. My children know its various branches by heart: the tall leaded windows in the soft mauve Sausalito branch, where the playground outside beckons; the Mill Valley branch, located deep in the redwoods, with its large hearth fireplace; the Corte Madera branch, with its fabulous reference department; tony Tiburon-Belvedere, with its welcoming wingback chairs and lots of quiet alcoves; the Larkspur branch, cozy and friendly, as is the San Anselmo branch, in its classic town hall. Marin City branch librarians always have welcoming smiles for their patron, and the Civic Center branch is stately and always fascinating. Fairfax reflects its community: funky, friendly and full of joy.

All libraries need a financial lift.

In fact, I've helped organize an event, happening in on September 16, 2010, 7:30pm, in Seattle: Between the Pages will benefit the Kitsap Regional Libary Foundation, which serves the islands in Seattle Bay. It takes place on Bainbridge Island (Bainbridge Performing Arts Center, 200 Madison Ave, N).

I hope you can join me, along with Pulitzer Prize winner Jane Smiley, and New York Times bestselling authors Eileen Goudge, Joshilyn Jackson, and Tatjana Soli for this wonderful event. We'll be reading from our books, and answering your questions.

In order to garner attention, libraries have to get creative, too. I like the way Brigham Young University students have taken matters into their own hands and created a great video ad that is catching on virally with us webheads. It's a spoof on the new Old Spice commercial currently on the air. Whereas it's message is why the school's library is a great place to study, the message I get is....

Yum.

Um . . . what were you saying again?

TGIF,

—Josie

http://twitter.com/JosieBrownCA

http://www.facebook.com/Josie.Brown.Author.Page

  Josie's Next Book: Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives

Simon & Schuster/Downtown Press

(ISBN: 9781439173176)

 Order it TODAY!

"Hollywood's got nothing on the cast of characters living in the bedroom community of Paradise Heights, who have the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Josie Brown is a skilled observer whose clever dialogue and feisty style make for truly entertaining reading."

—Jackie Collins, bestselling author of Hollywood Wives

Room Service by Richard Gere? Okay, Yeah, I'm In

 Turns out Richard Gere and his lovely wife, Carrie Lowell, have turned their 18th Century farmhouse in the upstate New York town of Bedford into a B&B and yoga loft.You can read about it in the this link. which takes you to the article about it in W Magazine.

If he's doing room service delivery, I am so totally in. Particularly if he throws in breakfast in bed.

Oh yeah, and, um, a yoga pose: say, the utthita supta padangusthasana?

Talk about an über-DILF!

—Josie

 

The Stay at Home Dad Ponders DILF-dom

Interesting the response I get to the title of my book (out Summer 2010) The DILF. Those under 40 give knowing chuckles, whereas my pals over that watershed year nod enthusiastically...

Then pause and ask: "What's a DILF?"

Hmmm....So, how do I explain this?

The easiest way is to say, "It's the opposite of a MILF. Get it?"

If then I get the glazed I-don't-know-what-the-heck-you're-talking-about-stare, I'll give it one more stab: "You know, a stay-at-home-dad who's...well, who--is cute."

If someone then says, "But--wouldn't that be 'DWIC''?" at this point, I'm thinking that my friend is..well, is DWIC'ing with me.

Having been put on the spot, I'll level with them: "What it stands for, exactly, is 'Dad I'd Like to...um...Flirt With.'"

And if by then they still don't get it, or they ask "So, why doesn't you acronym have that last W?'"... I'll just refer them to this very succinct article by TheDadJam.com

Coz, yeah, that dude gets it,

—Josie

The Good Clooney...

(Posted 9:05 PM PST, December 4, 2006)

Hunka hunka burn'in' luv, George Clooney, has had a loss in his family.

His Vietnamese potbellied pig, Max.

Georgie, I feel your pain. Hey, can I kiss it and make it better?

Okay, to be honest, I'm no Renee.

Or Kelly.

Or even Teri. (Okay, in the klutziness department I'm closer to Teri than any of your other former flings; but I've read BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY at least three times, so that should count for something....right?

Oh, this should seal the deal: I own a shitzhu.

Not exactly a pig, but hey, they have long lives, too. And they're bug-eyed, and therefore apt to go blind, just like Max did...

In fact, Lucky has a cateract. Does that count?

No, in all seriousness, I'm in love with your mind -- AND your body....of work.

Three Kings: U rock.
Solaris: Yep, got it. (Dylan Thomas. GENIUS....)
Welcome to Collingwood is a perennial in my view corridor.
Syriana? Sadly, the essence of truthiness.
And O, Brother, Where Art Thou? Truly a classic. It will be your masterpiece...
As for The Good German? It's got everything I love: a '40's feel, filmed in black-and-white...
and you. So, yeah, I'm there.

Bottom line, George: Thanks for always pushing the envelope...Or sealing it back up, which in some cases, may be more appropriate.

Always in awe,

Josie

Hey! Order My New Book, IMPOSSIBLY TONGUE-TIED!

from BARNES & NOBLE or AMAZON  or BORDERS or WALDENBOOKS

What's it about? 

Sex.  Celebrity. Scandal.  Just another fun day in Hollywood...

All over Hollywood, men are dialing O. Her steamy naughty talk fills them with lust and longing, and helps them perform like the studs they claim to be.

In truth, the industry’s favorite phone sex operator is Nina Harte, a struggling actress who has put her career on hold so that her husband, Nathan, can pursue his own dreams of stardom. When Nathan's career takes off, so does he, leaving Nina and their four-year-old son, Jake, for his diva costar, Katerina McPherson. Then "Kat 'n' Nat" are crowned the media's newest celebrity sweethearts, and Kat labels Nina an unfit mother in order to win custody of Jake, just so that she can have that highly-coveted celebrity accessory—an adorable child—sans any unsightly stretch marks.The one person who does care about Nina is Nathan’s agent, Sam Godwin. In fact, he’s in love with her. And because he has both a heart and a conscience, Sam feels guilty for having put Nat in Kat's path in the first place....

So how will he feel when he finds out that Nin and O are one and the same?

Read An Excerpt of IMPOSSIBLY TONGUE-TIED here!

A View from a Bond (or Two...)

Just saw CASINO ROYALE, the most recent Bond entry, starring hot and hunky Daniel Craig. If any one person can revive that mast spy franchise, it will be this actor...

Of course, he needed a spot on screenplay, too. I’m happy to report that the film is  jam-packed with great action, and just the right amount of sly humor, so kudos to screenwriters Neal Purvis and Robert Wade. That’s not to say that editing twenty or so minutes of plot wouldn’t have made it a perfect 10, then again, who goes to these movies for the story?

Personally, I go for the eye candy. Or in this case, the guy candy.

You’ll know what I mean when you go see it.

I happen to live in Marin County, which is just across the Golden Gate Bridge from San Francisco. Those of you who have been here know that San Francisco is a beautiful place. So beautiful, in fact, that it has been used as the backdrop for numerous movies.

Well, I was flipping channels a few minutes ago when I came across another James Bond movie, A VIEW FROM A KILL. It was released in 1985, and is the last Bond flick starring Roger Moore.

Despite costarring Christopher Walken as the bad guy (was there ever a movie, other than Michael Cinimo’s THE DEER HUNTER, in which Walken wasn’t the evil seed?) and the final fight between the two takes place over San Francisco’s glorious skyline; while hanging from a rope trailing Walken’s blimp (we get a lot of blimps here in SF) first Walken tries to castrate Moore on the tippy-top of the TransAmerica Tower, then he tries to hang Moore on one of the spires of the Golden Gate Bridge…

(Sigh!) Stupid plot, albeit great scenery. Maybe that’s why it was Moore’s last Bond movie. (Actually, he claims that when he realized he was older than Bond girl Tanya Roberts’ mother, he knew it was time to move on…)

Par for the course for San Francisco, right?  At least, it is always ready for its close-up. It has hosted the Hulk as well as an almost otherworldly Reese Witherspoon, and has had James Stewart, Clint Eastwood, Nicholas Cage and Richard Gere as its leading men.

So, which is your favorite San Francisco movie?  Comment here, or email me at JosieBrownAuthor@yahoo.com.

Wish I were a Bond girl,

Josie

PS: Hey! Read an excerpt of IMPOSSIBLY TONGUE-TIED, my new book, here…